Tuesday, 4 August 2015

It doesn't matter when someone unfollows you.


So today, for the first time ever, someone unfollowed me. Yesterday I had eighty followers and today seventy-nine. I'm the kind of girl who keeps a jolly close track of the pageviews, the popular-post-stats and the amount of followers, so I notice these kind of things immediately. (Seriously, it's quite lunatic how quickly I notice things like that.)

Now. Of course I was a teensy weensy bit upset at first, because I've this wish to have 100 followers and now that means it'll take a slightly longer time, but seriously... it doesn't matter. I'm not angry with that follower, because, you peeps...

I have unfollowed blogs, myself.

Well, I have. I don't think there's anything wrong with unfollowing blogs (although I do think it's important to think carefully before following a blog, in order to prevent unfollowing. I used to not do this.) This blog post here explains it in a supravilious way (do read it.) Now that I've experienced a someone-unfollowed-my-blog myself, I can imagine that it might perhaps hurt some people. So here's a message for those people who get hurt (or might) (or have) when/if someone unfollows them.

First of all, hello people-who-get-hurt-(or-might)-(or-have)-when-/-if-someone-unfollows-them! Here, let me wave. *Waves*

When someone unfollows you, it's not like this. (Or not as far as I'm concerned, anyway. And I think I'm a pretty average, normal person when it comes to unfollowing blogs.) It's not like, 'Oh! YEAH. This is an AWFUL blog. I just HATE it. Why did I EVER follow it? I just HATE it. The blogger is downright AWFUL. I'm going to UNFOLLOW. Mwuhahaha.' It's not like that. (Well, if it is, that's not nice, I admit it.)

When someone unfollows you, it's probably like this. Someone will scroll down their dashboard, looking at all the entries of the blog posts he/she follows. Then she (I'll make it a girl) notices that there are several blog posts she just always ignores. And then she'll think, 'Oh - I never read the posts from this blog. They're always just sitting around in my dashboard doing nothing. I might as well unfollow them.'

That doesn't mean your posts aren't any good. It just means that the stuff you blog about doesn't cooperate with the interest of every follower. The person who unfollowed my blog today was probably not a jot interested in Period Drama. That's fine. (Although poor person. A life without Period Drama fun is a very poor life indeed.) For instance, I don't follow blogs who post stuff only about, say, LOTR and Narnia, because I'm not terribly interested in those things. Another example - I used to follow a lot of fashion blogs, just because a lot of blogging friends seemed to follow them (I know, bad reason), and then I noticed I always skipped their posts, because I didn't even have their style and so on. It wasn't the fault of the fashion bloggers - it was me. I just didn't really appeal to it. That's allowed, right? (It should be allowed.) So last year I unfollowed a few fashion blogs. (I still follow a few Vintage-y ones, because they're beautiful for the eyes, and all that.)

So there you go. It doesn't matter when someone unfollows you. It just means, 'Oh look. That was a person who isn't interested in what I write.' And that doesn't matter, because that's life. People are different. It's cool. :-)

I'm fine with it. What about you?

Have you ever been upsetted by unfollowing?
Do you unfollow blogs?

19 comments:

  1. This was a good post, Naomi. Thanks for taking them time to write it. It was a good reminder that everyone has their areas of interest and that it's okay if your interests do not appeal to every single person out there. I know I would feel bad if someone unfollowed me, because I would probably worry that I had said something to offend them, but you're right. In most cases, they probably only unfollowed because they're just not particularly excited about the things you're excited about, and that in itself is perfectly fine! :) We're all so different!

    Oh, and on a side note, I just have to say, you find the most scrumptious pictures! I love the one you chose for this post! It's absolutely delicious! :)

    Have a lovely day, Naomi!

    ~Miss March

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  2. That's a great way to look at it. It's just like how, when you're an author and you write a book, your book is not going to appeal to EVERY SINGLE person in the world, no matter how good it is. You just can't appeal to the whole entire world's interests, and you shouldn't try--because then you wouldn't be YOU. Like, I know that when I get my novel published (if I ever get it published), folks whose main interest is fantasy will probably not buy it, because it's very "down-to-earth" historical fiction. But that's okay! It doesn't mean I'm a bad writer, it just means I'm not going to be THEIR favorite writer.

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  3. Yo, Naomi--so I finally got around to submitting my email address to "follow by email." Now you have 80 followers again and all is well :)

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  4. Evie, Aww thanks. :-)

    Miss March, Thank you. And you're welcome. :-) I was thinking the same, though, and that's why I was a bit scared-y/hurt/y'know. I hope it wasn't because of that P&P05 post I wrote. :-/
    Haha, thank you! I love this picture too. Just found it lying around in the middle of Pinterest.

    Jessica, ExACTly, m'dear. :-) Spot-on, that. There most CERtainly not a single book on this earth that everyone likes. There's not even a book in our house that EVERYONE in my family likes! (Well, maybe one.)
    Thank you for following me by e-mail, but that doesn't make me gain a follower, though. The e-mail is something separate, I don't notice that a jot. But thanks, that's sweet. (I don't really mind too much, about 79. I'm very, VERY thankful to have so many. :-))

    ~ Naomi

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  5. I've un-followed a few blogs before, because they were starting to post things I didn't like. I hope the person didn't feel discouraged when they lost a follower, because they do have good posts, just not ones that were really my style.

    Anyway, I loved this post! It's a good reminder that you can't please everyone in this world, and that some people aren't going to like everything you do (or post)!

    ~Lydia~ <3

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  6. Lol.... I would never unfollow you. :) A life without period dramas is indeed a sad life.
    I have unfollowed blogs before though and I've had someone unfollow my blog before too.
    Have you seen Mom's Night Out? It make me think of that. :)

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  7. Oh, Naomi. I don't think your post on P&P '05 would have offended anybody. (Granted, I am of the same persuasion as you are, so I can't honestly speak for the people who like that movie, but I really don't think you said anything offensive.) I know I can feel upset when somebody doesn't like something I like, but that's usually if they aren't giving me an opening for stating my opinion, and won't even listen to my arguments in it's favor. You certainly left it open for people to like P&P '05, and despite not liking it yourself you didn't come across as someone who thinks everyone who does like it is just plain wrong! And you did say some good things about it, too! So I really don't see how anyone could have been seriously offended. After all, everyone of us has movies we don't like.

    Just keep writing your honest opinion on things, in that nice friendly manner that is habitual to you. :)

    ~Miss March

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  8. It could also mean they follow you through a different thingy. (Because I can't think of the word.) Or that they, for example, were following you on Google, & started following you instead on Bloglovin. I never use the Google Follow, & I did one day go through & remove myself from everyone's list on Google because it felt like clutter. But I was following them elsewhere. :) x

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  9. Oh, Naomi-you read my mind on this one! For awhile now I've thought about doing a post on this subject....but from the "other side". ;)

    Now, I have not lost a follower (yet!), and I am sorry that you did. :( I can imagine how that would have been a surprising and sad thing.

    But....on the other end of the spectrum, I myself have learned that sometimes unfollowing is just what you have to do. I used to follow blogs without thinking about it...and then I'd have a build up of posts in my dashboard that I hardly ever read-much less comment!

    Now, the thing is, I'm always VERY afraid that I will hurt the blogger's feelings and perhaps dampen their excitement for blogging if I unfollow them. But, I've also learned that sometimes you need to do what's best for you--if having a boatload of blog posts that I skip over and distract from the blogs I love, then I'm not really doing myself or the skip-over-blogs any favors.

    And I agree-I'm not sure if I ever unfollowed a blog because of DISLIKE. It's usually a very nice blog, but not one of my particular favorites. I only have so much time to read blogs and comment, and I'd rather spend it on blogs I love then try to stretch my time over a lot of blogs I just sort of like.

    As a note, I've since changed that whenever I follow a blog, I follow anonymously for a long time-until I'm sure of my interest/like in the said blog. And then, if it turns out I didn't like it as much as I thought I did I can unfollow without worrying about hurting feelings. :)

    Anyways, sorry for my rambly comment-and great post! I am sorry for your follower loss-but be assured you still have MANY loyal followers-I myself, included! :)

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  10. Such good points! Another very good reason for someone unfollowing your blog is if they aren't on Blogger anymore and have deleted their profile, haha... that's happened to my blog several times, losing followers who technically don't exist anymore. (Of course I've lost followers for other reasons too-- you can't blog for nigh-on four years and not lose people's interest at SOME point :P-- but I've noticed that one cropping up somewhat frequently.)

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  11. "People are different. It's cool." *nods head*

    Naomi, I feel like this needed to be written! And you said it all just right. Of course it's going to be a little bit of a downer when you lose a reader...but that's just the way it goes. I think I've lost one follower too -- maybe more than one, I can't remember. When I saw that I felt kind of bad for about a minute, and then thought, "Oh, whatever, it doesn't really matter. They're just not interested." And that's OKAY.

    I've unfollowed a lot of blogs, actually. *guilty face* You see, I used to follow blogs compulsively whenever I found one that I liked the look of, without really reading anything that went on there. Then I continually found myself skipping over their posts, so I eventually ended up unfollowing. Now I'm not so impulsive. :-) I always feel kind of bad about doing it, though!

    So yes, to both your questions. I have been (sliiiightly) upset by unfollowing. I unfollow blogs. People are different. It's cool. :-)

    (By the way, you're awesome, Naomi.)

    ~Emma

    P.S. And I'm sorry you lost a reader. :-(

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  12. Wellll....now that I'm being honest with myself, there HAVE been a few times when I've done the "This Blog is Awful!" thing while unfollowing it. ;-P But I didn't really mean it. I was just having fun. ;-P

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  13. Excellent post, Naomi! And very charitable. I've "lost" a couple followers here and there (I think two, maybe three) and it's definitely an interesting feeling. Very interesting and kind of deflating. But I agree 100% with all the "why it might happen" points you raised and that other folks have mentioned here in the comments. :) So yes, personally I just try to be super cautious which blogs I follow -- reading and visiting them A LOT before hitting that fateful button. Especially if they're a "smaller" blog (under 100 or so) or even tinier. I'd just feel awful if I decided to stop following one of those -- even though it would just be for all the reasons you stated. Okay, that was a bit of a ramble. All that to say.... I'm with you, m'dear!

    (And P.S. I've been following you on Pinterest, too, for a couple weeks now. Just so you know. ;))

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  14. I know, right? The only book that is guaranteed to appeal to EVERY single person in the world is the Holy Bible. And THAT is because it was written by God Himself, not some mere mortal author. God is universal, but we humans are not universal, and we shouldn't try to be :)

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  15. I had to come to this realization at some point too, haha. I used to actually keep track of who followed my blog so that I could figure out who STOPPED when I lost one. (For the record, it was never anyone I really cared about, so. :P) But yes, whenever I stop following a blog it's because of one of those reasons. I just don't feel compelled to read the posts, and if I have too many clogging up my dashboard I won't see the ones I do want to read, haha.

    Which is why after the first year or two of blogging I became VERY hesitant to follow blogs. That's the other problem. Especially when the blog doesn't have very many followers yet, because I know very well people are going to notice when they get new ones and when they lose them. (I still notice both those things, but it's not such a big deal with 200+ followers.) Which is why I didn't follow yours for a long time, I must say. But then I forget to check up on them! Sigh.

    Although that's the beautiful thing about not following publicly. I do that quite a bit. I follow for a while and then if I decide I want to keep following, I make it public. Haha. ;)

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  16. Great post! I'm sorry someone unfollowed you. Silly people, m'dear. But this is great! I'm sure someone will unfollow me at some point, so this will be good to come back to.

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  17. This is a thought-provoking post. Because I don't pay a huge lot of attention to how many followers I have -- I do know that recently, my newer book blog surpassed my older movies-and-life blog on GFC, which surprised me. However, I kind of don't exactly care how many followers I have, I just care that I have people commenting on my posts and engaging in interesting discussions with me. (Which is why I kind of don't put "follow my blog" as a way to enter the giveaways I host, because if you're only following my blog to earn points and then you either never read it again or promptly unfollow when the giveaway is over... that's kinda lame and depressing.)

    All of which means, however, that if I write a post and then nobody comments at all, I'm kinda bummed. If it's one I spent hours and hours on, especially. If it's just a quickie book or movie review, not so much. But if it's something I'm all excited about and write a huge, long, involved, detailed blog post about and then nothing but crickets... I get bummed. So basically the same reaction as yours to getting unfollowed, I think.

    I follow blogs if I a) know the blogger from somewhere else and want to see what they write about, or b) if they blog about things I'm interested in. And not just in a general way -- "books" is too general to get me to follow you -- you need to blog about the kinds of books I'm interested in. Not every post has to be about a book I've read or would read, because that would be dumb and I'd never learn about cool new books and stretch my horizons. But if it's all books I would never read, then no thanks. Ditto for movies.

    So I unfollow blogs mainly if they stop posting about things I'm interested in, like if a book blog suddenly gets turned into a blog devoted to essential oils. I don't mind reading posts about essential oils, but if that's all you blog about, I just... stop caring.

    (I've also stopped following blogs if they became blatantly offensive, combative, or argumentative. And if they never responded to anyone's comments.)

    I will tell you a bitter truth: I trim my blogs-I-follow list a couple times a year. I follow 68 blogs right now and I am overloaded and due for a trimming -- I can only actually keep up with about 50. I'm only barely staying afloat right now because half a dozen of those blogs are inactive, but I don't want to unfollow them because I really liked them and hope they return. But I should trim again, as I know there are some I've followed that didn't end up being as interesting to me as I'd thought. (Yours is most definitely not included in that.)

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