Meet Septimus, our Christmas tree.
He was chopped off by its roots, bore the suffering like a real man, and thrown into the market like a slave. He was then bought by creepy strangers and landed in a noisy house of twelve humans, million books and a grand piano. Septimus is greatly to be pitied. For weeks he is forced to carry odd-looking ornaments he does not care about, and for weeks he has to wear a star-shaped hat which probably itches a great deal. Strangled with electricity wires and shiny gleaming lights, he has to endure the feeling of presents at his feet, while knowing none of them belong to him.
His reward for all this unpleasantness will be needle-loss and a good toss into either a fire or either a public waste heap.
Let us all take a moment of silence for the grief that Septimus is going through. Christmas is not an easy time for everyone.
Such a lovely tree Noami!
ReplyDeletePoor Septimus!
ReplyDeleteHe is greatly to be pitied.
DeleteHaha, maybe Septimus will come to care for the ornaments over the Christmas season?
ReplyDelete". . . twelve humans, a million books, and a grand piano." SOUNDS LIKE HOME TO ME. (Okay, all except for the grand piano, which we ain't got. :-P)
ReplyDeleteRandom question: How big is your backyard? Or back garden, or whatever you call it? I'm curious. :-)
Quite big. Haven't measured. ;-P It's very good for football, say my siblings.
DeleteGotcha . . . I was curious, because, for some reason, I was under the impression that houses in Europe generally had tiny yards. I see now that I was mistaken, haha ;-)
DeleteOur Christmas tree, Lawrence, sends greetings and condolences. Lawrence is fake so he has not gone through that trauma of his living (well, dying) cousin, but he has gone through many, many years of dependable service before he was gifted to our family and he envies Septimus's impending quick demise.
ReplyDelete(This is likely my favorite of your posts. It's so funny!))
BEST COMMENT.
DeleteSeptimus sends his greetings to Lawrence also and sends words of encouragement.
Oh dear, this makes me sad for all the trees that are sitting with ornaments in the living rooms of millions of homes during the holidays. Super creative and fun to read post
ReplyDelete*decides that this is actually so sad*
ReplyDeleteI AM PROUD OF OUR FAKE TREE RIGHT NOW lol
Mwahaha! This was awesome, Naomi! Seriously, the things you come up with. ;) I'd never considered this time of year from the tree's point of view before, but oh! poor Septimus. He really does have a lot to bear, doesn't it? At least he gets to look pretty before the end. That's some comfort, right? ;P (By the way I love the name you chose for him. So cool.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for a fun post! :D
This is fun! Thanks, Naomi! :D
ReplyDelete~Liv
oliviakfisher.blogspot.com
Wow... now you've made me rethink my life. ;P
ReplyDeleteChristmas trees... aww, the poor things. Now I feel better about having a fake one.
~Miss Meg
Oh, dear. Septimus, I felt so sorry for your lot that I just had to pin you on Pinterest. Normally, we, too, are medieval torturers to our trees, but this year we'll be out of town for the holidays and got a fake tree. Her name is Gwendolyn, and she rather likes her pretty ornaments. Sometimes I hear her whispering, "Beauty is pain, Gwennie!" She thought the picture of Septimus rather handsome, and I distinctly heard her mutter, "Mrs. Gwendolyn Septimus...". I didn't say anything, as I didn't want to crush her dreams. Perhaps she would find someone here in Germany if she would just look on evergreenmatch.com rather than constantly editing her profile pic. :)
ReplyDelete(This comment is HILARIOUS. ;-D)
DeleteWhat a pity Septimus will be dead by the time it is Valentine's day. I'm sure he'd have sent a Valentine's card to Gwendolyn.
So pretty Naomi! Our poor Christmas tree has had to endure our cats mischievous pulling-down-ornaments clawings for so long I'm surprised it's full standing.
ReplyDelete*still
DeleteHahahahaha. Poor Septimus. :( :)
ReplyDeleteYou are loved, Septimus.;)
ReplyDelete~Rilla Blythe
Oh no poor Septimus!!! (But he looks so nice!)
ReplyDeleteBeauty is pain.
DeleteWhat an amusing--er, sad--post! I never would have thought to view Christmas from a tree's perspective. ;) Despite all the hardships that Septimus has had to endure, though, he does make for a beautiful Christmas tree. :)
ReplyDeleteSeptimus is so pretty! Did your family make the ornaments that are on him?
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to think that a Christmas tree's life is not happy during Christmas time. We've always had a fake Christmas tree for Christmas, but I've wondered what it would be like having a real Christmas tree. I don't know if you have ever had a fake Christmas tree, but do you like real or fake Christmas trees more? Which one do you think is better to have?
No, we've never had a fake one. (I've definitely seen loads though.) I think real ones are definitely prettier (and they smell so good), although fake ones, from an ecological and practical point of view, are way better, haha. :-P
DeleteBut maybe, he had always dreamt of being a Christmas Tree. Maybe he feels that all the pain is worth it, because he is able to bring such joy to many people. Maybe life is not easy for him, but he feels that he has fulfilled his purpose in life.
ReplyDeleteWow, I just got very deep into the feelings of a tree. Be brave dear Septimus, and know that you are loved.
Naomiiiiiii. You just made me tear up over a tree. :P
ReplyDeleteActually, no I do feel bad for Christmas trees. I'm always like "What about all the trees that don't get taken home for Christmas?! They were cut down for nothing..."
PS. Septimus is adorable.
PPS. Is he named after Septimus in "Cranford"? ;)
Hahahaha.
DeleteI know; like, the world doesn't need MORE cut-down trees! :-)
No, I just thought the name suited him. :-P
AAAAH THIS IS AMAZING. Poor, dear Septimus. Have you read The Little Fir Tree by Hans Christian Anderen? It's like a slightly more tragic version of he tale of Septimus. It scarred me as a child and I felt terrible when I looked at our Christmas tree that year. In any case, friendliest greetings to Septimus and best wishes to him in this, his time of being in the depths of despair. (Perhaps part of his sadness is because his hair-er, needles?-have been dyed green. I hear tell that such a harrowing incident is often a cause for falling into the depths of despair.)
ReplyDeleteHaha. That's a good story, Naomi :) poor Septimus, though!
ReplyDelete*whispers* we've always had a fake tree
ReplyDelete-D
*whispers* well okay, that's very good. :-)
Delete