(Before starting this post (well technically it's already started, I know, but shush) I'd like to publicly announce that I love how thought light-bulbs-on-strings look. Why are they so pretty?! I'm confused. It's just electricity and glass, right?)
We all face confusion in our lives. Some more than others, but we've all got it. Confusion about life, confusion about God, confusion about family members, confusion about the Bible, confusion about yourself, confusion about everything. What do I do? Who the flipping bananas even am I? For what reason am I breathing? Where is my purpose? Will I ever be able to fulfil my dreams? Endless intertwining questions; endless unanswered questions; endless uncertainty fills people's mindsets. So much confusion all over the world, am I right?
Sometimes I have it all figured out. I can face the world and I'm confident in who I am. I feel like I know who I am and that I know what I want to do and what I stand for. But then confusion decides to take a peek into my life and huh, wait, what, what is this thing called me? I think I'm a such confusing person sometimes. Like, wow, so confusing that almost every time I do any sort of personality quiz I have a different answer! Sometimes - actually, quite often - I might be seen as an extrovert; I laugh with people and I make lame jokes and that I don't care that aren't funny and I love being social. But sometimes I want to be alone and just talk to God and stalk people on the Internet and watch Youtube videos in my private little bed. And I don't want to open up and be energetic with fellow human beans.
I don't get offended quickly, but then there's this one thing that literally isn't even offensive than guess what people?! It offends me. Same with say, change. I like change mostly - it's exciting and I like the idea of new metaphorical chapters. I'm excited to finish school next year and go to university. But then a stupid little change that no-one notices and that some people might not even consider change? I am sad. Sometimes a lovely evening filled with wonderful people can leave me feeling oddly sad. Why though. There is no logic in me sometimes.
I AM BALLY CONFUSING. (Almost as confusing the Internet connection in my room today.) (Which says a lot.)
Yesterday I went to Youth Group, and everyone had to write 'encouragement notes' to each other. I love writing encouragement notes to people (probably more than getting them; see how confusing I am?!) and one girl wrote to me: 'I really like your humour. I don't always get it but that's ok.' I thought that was hilarious and well, I'm not surprised. My 'humour' is very confusing indeed. Half I the time I don't even think it's vaguely funny myself, I just say it because it needs to be said by someone. :-P
We all are confusing human beings; I know it's not just me! The news is filled with confusion and society tells us to 'rely on our feelings' which really is a very bad piece of advice for confused people, if you think about it. There is no need to tell me, oh don't worry, you're not alone in this - I know I'm not. Actually, I'm way less confusing than I was last year - I feel like this year I've really sort of 'figured stuff out.' And honestly, it's not that big of a deal, when I feel like a confused person. It really isn't. I'm not one for over-analysing and I like to tell myself, 'Naomi, buckle up, and carry on with life.' Confusion is no reason not to search for answers, of course. Prayer helps; writing stuff down helps. But telling yourself it's no big of a deal and not to over-analyse helps a terrible load too.
This post is Very Random, and Rather Pointless... but oh well. I am queen of this place. ;-)
So far this Saturday has consisted of a tired me procrastinating, doing French, and writing this blog post. Not to mention wasting time. I will leave you; leave the screen, and do my duties. Go yonder, and be wise. Eat chocolate, listen to Pentatonix on repeat, and don't worry if your dance moves are awkward. Celebrate your confusing personality and just try to go with the flow, because it's the only way it'll work, have my word for it.
Have a good day, internauts. *insert heart-emoji*