10 types of instagram captions

The title speaks all. This is going to be fun to write. ;-)

1. The hashtagger

thehashtagger #sunset #nofilter #soblessed #okmaybetherewasasmallfilter #buthardlyany #itwaswayprettierinreallifeanyway #sunsetpics #sunsetsofinstagram #sunsetsofinsta #godscreation #art #artisinotdead #godsnotdead #lit #dope #beautiful #stunning #beautifulsunset #imaluckygirl

STOP IT.

2. The long caption-er

thelongcaptioner Ok, so guys these past few hours have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't even know where to start, lol, but let me just say that man, it's been worth it. Going to the beach with my one-year-old for the first time was precious and I'll never forget it. The memory is not only in a polaroid snap and instagram pictures, but it's also engraved in my brain. My sweet baby girl saw the ocean with her own eyes as blue as the ocean and my heart ached out of love for her and for the beautiful vast waters. Our God is so so amazing; Ha makes the blue of little baby eyes and the blue of powerful oceans. Coming home from this trip with weary bones and sand-clad skin I was musing about all this and this poem came to mind that my mama used to read to me when I was a little girl. My eyes filled with tears as the words came back to my brain, one by one... {continued in the comments}

(Don't feel like you have to read all that, haha.) I like a bit of meat on a caption but I'll be the first to admit that some people go wayyyy too long EVERY TIME they post (like, how much time do these Mum instagrammers have, to write a novel on their toddlers latest antics every day when they post a picture?!?!) and that some long instagram captions are just so. dead. boring. Like, at this point honey, I don't care about you enough to go to the comment section to read the rest of your caption. Start a blog. Or a diary.

3. The emoji-er

theemojier ⛅✨😍

An emoji speaks a thousand words, people. (Actually, it doesn't. They're cute, but they're not informative and imagination-rousing to the soul.)

4. The no caption

Boring? Lack of creativity? Lazy? All of the above. Whoever writes the first comment gets to be the caption-writer for the picture. (A slight improvement of this one is the caption: "Caption this." :-P)

5. The witty one

thewittyone Ok, so I have literally no reason to post this but you have literally no reason to read this or waste time online so STOP JUDGING ME K. #hatersgonnahate

The one that tries really hard to be funny. (I'm probably this one, if I'm being honest. :-P) Often these people's captions include: a) puns (often really bad ones) b) rants (often really unnecessary ones) c) using wacky hashtags (like #wowlolsofunnyjkthisjokesucks) and d) saying somethign very snobbish like posting a selfie and captioning it with something like 'what a view.' Because that's hilarious, apparently.

6. The deep, short caption-er

thedeepshortcaptioner 💚 D O N ' T  F O R G E T  T O  B R E A T H E 🌒

This one gets my goat. But it's very popular in the World of Insta, I have noticed. Especially girls do this a lot, with pictures of holidays and poses and fields. Other examples of such captions are: "Shoot for the stars 🌠" "But darling, what if you fly?" "Fields of gold" "Golden hour of love" ... honestly, none of them make sense. And they're all from pinterest, probably.

7. The quote caption

thequotecaption "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah

Few people read these captions.

8. The Bible verse caption

theBibleversecaption "Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." (Prov. 30:5)

... in a similar vein, this is a popular caption choice with Christian instagrammers who don't feel inspired or led to write a long sermon as a caption. :-P A Proverbs or Romans or Corinthians verse are popular choices. Or John 3:16.

9. The sponsored caption

thesponsoredcaption I love my new boots from @somebootshopnoonecaresabout - they are honestly so comfy and pretty. Use promo code "idontcare' to get 50% off your first purchase! Totally recommended!

This is for popular instagrammers with tons of followers. Kind of annoying though, these captions. I mean, I'm glad they have a job writing these captions and I'd probably do it too if I were them... but I rate these captions 1/10 bc they're boring. Sorry.

10. The 'I posted something' caption

theipostedsomethingcaption New video up on the youtube channel! Link in bio! Check it out!

No explanation needed.

Which one are you? Which one is your favourite/least favourite? Any I forgot?

PS: KATE AND WILLIAM ARE HAVING BABY NO.3!!!! 

10 types of Internet Bios

I'm starting to get sick of the word 'Internet Bios' buuuuut they're so much fun, so here's another post on them. Here are Ten Types of Internet (mainly Instagram) Bios that you will have seen at least one in your life. (Now I sound like Blimey Cow.)

1. The Organised Bio

Example:丨INTJ 丨Lover of books丨24 丨British 丨John 1:1 丨Happily Married丨

That person that loves how uncluttered and organised her/his (let's be real, it's a girl) bio looks in comparison to the unorganised ones.

2. The Emoji Bio

Example: →👗👫💗😻🍁👸🌺🍦🍓🎹←

That person that thinks everyone will take the time to unclue what kind of personality s/he has by staring at the individual emoji's for ten minutes.

3. The Link Bio

Example: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sweetest-Thing-Elizabeth-Musser-ebook/dp/B004XM3WA6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481093686&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sweetest+thing+elizabeth+musser

That person who uses their bio to get traffic elsewhere. These are usually short-term, because in the caption of one of the pictures someone will say 'link in the bio.' Why, by the way, not just put the link in the caption? (Or maybe that's not possible?)

4. The Short Bio

Example: Born with peculiarity.

That person that thinks s/he just nailed it on the Bio-writing department.

5. The Funny Bio

Example: I have no clue what to write here, so I guess I'll just take a time to be real with you guys and tell you that.

That person that attempts to make their page looks really attractive by making his/her bio really funny. 90% of the time the joke is very lame, but the fact that s/he devoted the oh-so-important-bio for wit must mean it's a very witty person.

6. The Confusing Bio

Example: 25/mdays!! ANNABELLE💘ง♡↑阝↟🌲థΔ∢ youtubedotcomeslashsomething /🌘०be happy↠ i love @cooldude💜

That person that's trying so, so, so hard to be really cool. Their bio ends up looking like a wreched mess.

7. The follow 4 follow Bio

Example: My name is Janice follow 4 follow no haters plz

That person that wants to be famous so bad s/he does it the desperate way and begs for followers. This is the kind of bio that makes me lose hope in humanity.

8. The Christian Bio

Example: *insert a Bible verse*

That person that gets their priorities straight.

9. The trying-to-fit-as-much-as-possible-into-one-bio Bio

Example: BLOGGER heresmyblogblogspot.com/Lover of rain💦/homeschooled/Downton Abbey/my fam♡/I sell things on Etsy heresmyetsy.com/In Christ Alone/I love doing the laundy/one of these was a joke😀

That person who has so much to say and grabs the oppotunity in the bio. S/he makes sure to attempt to add a little bit of everything; a bit of humour, a bit of linky-love, a bit of emoji-love, a bit of personal info. (I would probably be this person.)

10. The Artistic Bio

Example: 🌒 S T A R T 🌓 L I V I N G 🌔 F O R 🌖 L O V E 🌘

That person that takes hipster to a whole new level, putting spaces (or full-stops) between letters, and using very mythical-looking emojis to make their deep living advice look deeper.

Which one are you? :-)