Faith is not a feeling

Love is not a feeling. I've heard that said many times; at youth group, in marriage books (ok I've only read one marriage book, but still), in deep blog posts, and by people with lots of wisdom and insight. It's true. Love is not simply the feeling of passion, bursting, admiration and affection. It is more; it goes further than the simple thrill. It isn't an illusion; it is SOMETHING with deeper base and grounded foundation. It can't just shift depending on characteristic moods and sleep deprivation. It is commitment, sacrifice and all that Jesus embodied.

So. I was thinking about faith. Isn't it the same with faith? Our faith in God is more than a feeling. It is not just the personal conviction we feel when we hear, read and feel the presence of the Lord. It is (or should; cus yes, we're fallable human beings with tonsa flaws) - it is THERE. Believing, trusting, hoping; despite doubts, jostles or whatever may toss about the feeling of yes I believe.

This past month I have really learnt that. Like NO, I don't always get you God. And I don't always feel you. But I have faith in you because I remember your faithfulness, I remember how you have shown yourself to me and other people around me. I have faith even though I sometimes feel the "This Is Why I Believe" list I sometimes have so clearly and boldly in my head sagging loose. We can't let our faith be dimmed by our mood; our tiredness; our situation; our mental state of mind and clarity. That's not how faith or love work. They are more than feelings; they are almost a holy ground of basis and continuity and commitment. (If that makes any sense, lol :-P)

It is human to have feelings. And I do think it's important to work on them and give them credit. (*Hears Mr Collins say "your feelings do you credit my dear cousin"* *Tells brain to not let Mr Collins interrupt a serious blog post. ugh. creep.*) Like, yes feelings are so important and we got them for a reason. We are creatures who feel and think and connect emotionally. HOWEVER also so so so important to know that there is more to love, faith, forgiveness, peace than what we feel. I mean, think about Jesus, when he was sweating drops of blood as He prayed to His Father intensely anxious on His knees. I'm sure He felt no gooey sense of love; no overwhelming fuzzy presence of God... yet He embarked on what He was called for; the greatest act of all time.

One of the saddest things for me is seeing teens doubt their obvious faith in God because they feel like they can't say they have faith because they haven't had this 'experience' yet. I get that but I find it so sad. Like, God is just as much your God when you are trembling, overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit and crying than He is when you feel numb and sweaty after a long day of placid schoolwork. You don't have to wait for overwhelming 'faith-feelings' in order to proclaim that you have faith. Faith is more than feeling. It is knowing and doing and believing what you stand for; no matter what. Faith is.

Don't let trouble overwhelm your soul

Don't let trouble overwhelm your soul. Our souls are not meant to grow weak; to flicker; to grey. Our souls are meant to live eternally. Our mind, yes; our body, yes - they will grow weak, they may die, they will cry, sweat. Blood will drip from your skin and tears will stream from your eyes. Feet will ache, hearts will weep. Fingers will grow stiff from age; from work. Friends will leave and family will fall down sick. Mental confusion will happen and desperate questions with spring out of the thin hair, attacking you in your face. It will rain. It will storm. But then there is your soul. Rejoicing. Holding a constant party. Because it's destined for the opposite of what our bodies are going through on this earth. Because Jesus saved it. Our joy is our hope. Our joy is our peace. Cling to JOY. Don't let trouble overwhelm your soul.

Biblical themes in The Greatest Showman songs?

The title may make you cringe. I promise I'm not one of those over-analyzing-everything-people (k, maybe sometimes), but it's just that this past week I've been listening to songs of 'The Greatest Showman' (let's be real, when am I not) and, well, I couldn't help but think 'wow, change a few words and this could totally be a song about me and God.' Like, I was sitting in the train. The sun was pouring inside from the windows on my face. I was listening to 'From Now On' and as I was listening to the words suddenly my heart was worshiping my Creator. Because I was listening to those songs from another place than the songwriters wrote it from.

I know these songs weren't made to worship God (in other words they aren't 'Christian songs') buuut you know, there are some themes that just scream 'Gospel' and 'Jesus' and 'New Life' to me. Just, when I listen to the lyrics and think about how I interpret some of the lyrics in a spiritual way, my goosebumps come. Wow. These songs are AMAZING. 

Anyway, this post is kind of pointless and maybe might sound weird but yeah I wanted to share the lyrics that can be interpreted in Christian-y ways. :-P Cause I think it's cool.

Tightrope

Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between 

Desert and ocean 

You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream 

Always in motion 

So I risk it all just to be with you 

And I risk it all for this life we choose

I LOVE the song Tightrope. And yes I generally listen to it as the beautiful love romance song it is. But this part reminds me of the certain 'risk' we have in our lives as Christ followers. It is God that pulled me into this life and I risk it all for this life I choose. (You see?)

This is Me

I am brave, I am bruised 

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me. 

I won't let them break me down to dust 

I know that there's a place for us 

For we are glorious

I'm not scared to be seen 

I make no apologies, this is me

Yessssss. THIS IS HOW CONFIDENT WE SHOULD BE IN OUR FAITH. We are more than Conquerors in Christ. We are bruised BUT we are made clean. We are who we are meant to be. We are glorious in Him. There is a place for us. We should never make any apologies for being followers of Jesus. This is who we are!

Never Enough

All the shine of a thousand spotlights 

All the stars we steal from the night sky 

Will never be enough 

Never be enough 

Towers of gold are still too little 

These hands could hold the world but it'll 

Never be enough 

Never be enough

Nothing this world offers us will ever be enough. Never never never. Towers of gold will never satisfy. Even the beauty of the stars in the night-sky. Or the shine of a thousand spotlights. Or the whole wide world. If we don't have God, we will never be satisfied. It will never be enough without Him.

Come Alive

I see it in your eyes 

You believe that lie 

That you need to hide your face 

Afraid to step outside 

So you lock the door 

But don't you stay that way 

No more living in those shadows 

You and me, we know how that goes' 

Cause once you see it, oh you'll never, never be the same 

We will be the light that's turning 

Bottle up but keep on shining 

You can prove there's more to you 

You cannot be afraid

To anyone who's bursting with a dream

Come one!Come all!You hearThe call

To anyone who's searching for a way to break free

Break free! Break free! 

When the world becomes a fantasy 

And you're more than you could ever be' 

Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open 

And we know we can't be go back again 

To the world that we were living in' 

Cause we're dreaming with our eyes wide open

Come Alive is amazing ahh. And these lyrics. I mean, need I say more as to why I think it screams out 'NEW LIFE'?!?  'Cause once you see it, oh you'll never, never be the same' and 'We'll be the light that's shining' and 'Believing the lie that you need to lock the door and hide your face.' Accepting Jesus into your life is all about breaking free and hearing the call and never going back again to the world that we were living in. JUST YES YES THE IMAGERY I FIND. :-D

From Now On

Wait for this one, this one is my favourite.

For years and years 

I chased their cheers 

The crazy speed of always needing more 

But when I stop 

And see you here 

I remember who all this was for

THAT. The crazy speed of always needing more. STOPPING. and seeing God. And remembering who we're living for. That's what I hear when I listen to that.

It starts tonight 

And let this promise in me start 

Like an anthem in my heart 

From now on 

From now on 

From now on

Also that.

And we will come back home 

And we will come back home 

Home again! 

And we will come back home 

And we will come back home 

Home, again!

We will come back home. (The way they sing it man. When they start singing in acapella and it becomes all Gospel-choir-y. AHHHHH.) (Also when it's just piano and the guitar-y instrument in the beginning, it sounds like a Rend Collective song, don't you think?)

Random Naomi thoughts have ended. What do you say? What are your thoughts?

Jesus wants you.

Hey reader. Here's a 100£ bill.

You'd take it, right?

You'd take it if I licked it. It's still worth 100£.

You'd take it if I crumpled it up. It's still worth 100£.

You'd take it if I tore it a little here and there. It's still worth 100£.

You'd take it if it was dusty. Still worth 100£.

You'd take it if it was smeared with mud. Still 100£.

You'd take it, right?

Jesus died for you.

God'll take us if we're ugly. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we're messed up. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we have a past filled with sin. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we sinned five minutes ago. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we sin five minutes later. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we lie, cheat, kill. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we work for his enemy, the devil. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we hate Him. He still died for you.

God'll take us if we kill Him. Which is what we did, because of our sins. 

But He still gladly died. For you.

Jesus wants you.

He'll clean you.

He'll fix your tares.

He'll dry your tears.

He'll dust you off.

He'll smooth out your creases.

He'll help you and change your life.

He'll take you.

Jesus wants you. Every day, again and again, He wants the whole of you.

Jesus loves you.

Combinations of things.

You know how you attach certain scents, memories, places or images with books and stories? I love how brains work like that - how it puts two different things in the same category and context; how it juggles with smell and weather and words. It's amazing. Like, The Help is yellow and lemons and the sound of a typewriter. Celia Garth and Violins of Autumn take me back to summer 2015 in Switzerland, the green shutters in the house we were staying at, and the dew on the grass in the morning. Eve's Daughters is me crying in bed and imagining the characters' smiles and the colour purple of the cover. The Book Thief is Christmas holidays, and my bedroom when the bed was at the other side of the room. On the banks of plum creek is lemonade and my old bed sheets with the pink and salmon-coloured hearts on it. Remembrance by Theresa Breslin reminds me of my old bedroom in the attic and Back Home by Michelle Magorian gives me memories of cute lamps, nylons, and my second cousin Rebekah. The Story Girl is me wishing so bad I could dive in it; and it's the colour of gold and the taste of orchard apples. Rilla of Ingleside is an emotional soundtrack like the Kings Speech soundtrack and late nights. Sense and Sensibility is grandma and my old pink diary. That chapter in Hebrews (Hebrews 11) about faith reminds me of strawberries for breakfast and talking about it on grey sofas with five friends. While We're Far Apart by Lynn Austin is dark red and chocolate and watching trailers of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland movies on youtube. The Sweetest Thing is light green and mental images of 1930 dresses. Gone with the Wind is dark hallways and mirrors and spring. Man, I love how there are so many combinations of things.

Debunking 'Deep Inspirational Quotes'

(Dr Suess' quotes are good. Even I will admit.)

Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon? That makes no sense whatsoever.

Hello readers. I hope your day is fine and dandy. If it is and you feel ready for it to be less dandy read a WW1 romance novel and your heart may be crushed for the following week. (Rilla of Ingleside by LMM or Remembrance by Theresa Breslin are two I would advise.)

Today I'm going to look up "deep inspirational quotes" - (you know, those phrases that teenage girls put in their instagram caption to appear very philosophical and inspirational when they really just took it off pinterest and added an emoji like 💞or ✨ or ❣ in an attempt to appear creative) - on Google images and I'm going to make them ridiculous. (I know. It's really cruel of me. But I rather enjoy it. It is the Adler Davidson in me.)

Do not take this post too seriously. It is supposed to be all in good fun. (Can I just say how nice you all are? You are all good sports. Hate comments are not a thing here.) (I don't write posts about Narnia anymore.)

"I stopped looking for the light. Decided to become it instead."

Okay, this one is stupid. What if you're looking for a slice of pizza? Is the advice you give me become a pizza?! Seriously. Dude. No. If you want a good life, you can't just magically BECOME A GOOD LIFE. You have to go and look for it. You have to go and earn money or go and make continued attempts to be a good and kind person. That's called looking and searching.

Replace this quote with: "Seek and you shall find. (Matthew 7:6)"

"Old ways won't open new doors."

My way of opening doors is reaching the door handle and pushing it down while simultaneously pulling it open. It's the old way and it always works. (Of course, some new doors just slide open.)

"Ahh but it's a metaph" - oh of course of course. But still. Sometimes old ways are good. What if you've always been a punctual person? That's good. That may well give you new opportunities. DON'T CHANGE THAT OLD WAY.

"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting."

Plagiarising a turn of phrase from Matthew 5, I see. Only, it's not plagiarism because this one is silly. That is, I am genuinely confused. What is so good about giving without remembering and taking without forgetting? Remembering what? Forgetting what? The object? I remember giving my sister a present yesterday for her birthday. That does not mean I am all fluffy and prideful about it. I simply remember it. Apparently I am cursed.

"Only dead fish go with the flow."

It's okay. I'm not dead. And I'm not a fish. And even if I was, going with the flow isn't always a bad thing.

(Also, only black pictures and with white words get into google images.) (Hypocrite.)

"It's not about getting a chance, it's about taking a chance."

But dude, how can you TAKE it when you don't GET it? Like, right now, I don't have a chance to eat pizza, so I can't take pizza. There is no pizza. However, I do get a chance tonight because we're going to order some. So dere. It's all about getting a chance, bro.

(Looking forward to the pizza, btw. The pizza I will GET and then TAKE.) (Or whatever.) (Ugh.)

"To heal a wound you need to stop touching it."

Actually, you need to disinfect it, bandage it, press it, and do all sorts of things for a wound to heal properly.

(I'm not even a physician and I know that.)

"If you can't stop thinking about it, don't stop working for it."

We're back with the black-background-white-wording, I see. It's so inspirational to see people be different.

Okay so this quote is a good piece of advice in some situations but in many situations it is not. What if my baby sister wants to be the first toddler to visit the moon? What if that's all she thinks about? All her work won't change a thing. (No offence, sis.)

"I think life is about falling in love with the right person, shopping, eating your favorite decadent desserts and traveling a lot."

According to this quote millions of people do not have a life. 

I think life is a whole lot deeper than that, Palermo. I wish you knew about it. (Man these quotes are missing out on Jesus. It's honestly quite sad.) (Life is about shopping?! No.) (Basically this quote is saying life is about money and also a hot bae for the instagram pics.)

"Let your smile change the world but don't let the world change your smile."

OHH CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER A REVERSE PHRASING QUOTE THAT'S SO CLEVER. (These capital letters you just read were sarcastically inclined, by the way.)

Also, I doubt a smile could change the world. Smiles merely bare teeth and sometimes they don't even do that. Actions are more likely to produce some kind of change. So do something. (And honestly, if the world doesn't change your smile sometimes, I'm worried for you. The world has some horrid things going on. Stop smiling for a second and pray.)

"Maybe life isn't about avoiding the bruises. Maybe it's about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it."

Maybe.

 Avoiding bruises still sounds like a solid thing to do though.

"One day or day one. You decide."

One day. I decided.

(Okay, I actually kind of like this one. Got to say.)

"Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile."

Mark Twain hated Pride and Prejudice, so I knew I couldn't trust him. This is stupid life advice. BREAK THE RULES? You want me to go and rob a bank, dude? You want me to go and do drugs because it'll make me laugh uncontrollably? NO.

(Sometimes you have to regret things that you laughed at before. Be mature.) (And P&P is a good book. So shut up.)

"Don't forget to live before you die."

I won't, but thank you for the reminder that I should do something that is in every way impossible not to do.

This is all for now. I love doing this. :-P (What do you think of these quotes? Would you like me to debunk more?) (ALSO DON'T FORGET TO LIVE.)

Is Jesus cool? (A lil' rant.)

Is Jesus cool?

My first instinct it to say duh YEAH. But then the official definition of cool is "fashionably attractive" and when I look at society I don't think that per their definition of fashionably attractive, Jesus is in that department.

I have the feeling that a lot of Christians (and Churches) nowadays, they try so hard to make Jesus look cool. 

And that gets my goat sometimes. No, I'm not saying that Christianity is this old-people-shh-be-quiet thing. Yes, we should burst into songs of joy; yes we should dance with love for God; yes we should tell people about Jesus and yes, we should rejoice in the Lord always (and again I say rejoice.) (Message clear: Rejoice.) Again, I'm not saying pastors with ripped jeans and leather jackets aren't good people, I'm not saying Hillsong worship sessions are un-Christian and I'm not saying that Churches with loads of drums and colourful lights and really cool kids programs aren't good Churches.

But sometimes you do wonder... how many people come because of the cool-factor; how many people come for Jesus? How many people would come if the electricity turned off and if the pastor was an old man with a suit and a tie? If there was no Church website and no good parking lot? How many people would come if there were no kids programs or after-Church pastries?

Because that's not what Christianity is about; and that's not who Jesus is. Jesus is our God. He is our Saviour, and He died on the cross to save us and to give us eternal life and that is why we go to Church. That is enough. That is why hundreds of Christians come together in underground churches in China; they are being persecuted but they come because it's Jesus.

Let's see... the definition of the word cool is "fashionably attractive or impressive." So yeah, you might say: "Oh, but God has to be impressive and He has to be in fashion and therefore He should be fashionably attractive and fashionably impressive!" 

4 Main Points: 

1. People have to come to Jesus because of Jesus. And not because He's presented in a #relatable #trendy way. That's just not the point.

2. We have to submit ourselves to Him and it's sooo easy to take 'cool-Christianity' casual and to then put Jesus almost as our equal. Jesus is not a human celebrity; He is God and He is way, way, way more than us.

3. Of course God is impressive, we shouldn't need to wear ripped jeans to prove that. 

4. God is not 'fashionable' in the world. And it's not the point of Christianity - we are on the narrow path. So... should we be desperately trying to be as 'cool' as possible to the world? Or when the world thinks we're cool and relatable, does that mean that maybe we're doing something wrong?

Thoughts?

Vat do you say?

(And by the way: I am not criticising anyone or any Church is particular. But I just want Jesus to be 100% honoured. He's not a casual-comfortable-all-da-feels-thing and I do think people take Him that way sometimes, which is sad.)

You are beautiful in a non-cliché way.

Confession time: I roll my eyes at stuff like, "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL." And "BE YOU." And even the plausible "YOU ARE UNIQUE."

When I was fourteen, I used to hang these kinds of words up on my wall. I was all about the positive-Pinterest-y-Naomi's-da-bomb-because-she-says-she-is-phase. I was like 'boo yeah I'm Me' and honestly, I was getting excited about nothing. I was doing it in selfish la-di-da-feelsies and I needed those words to make me feel good. I needed constant convincing.

Then I realised that wow, God, I need to humble myself; I am a sinner; and I should not be who I am by human nature because without you, I am nothing. I still agree with all of this, of course, but I had a phase where I swung a little too far in the opposite direction. I was like, nah, we shouldn't be ourselves because what if you're selfish by nature? We should strive to be who God wants us to be.

THAT IS ALSO TRUE. We all naturally have sin and the 'BE YOU' phrase should not mean 'be who you aaaaarrree and get druuunk and steaaal and sleep arouuund because that's who you aaarrreee.' In a sense, we should, therefore, not be who we are as humans in a world of sin. We should strive to be as non-human-like as possible.

But I took this idea too far for a while, I think. We are creations of God and to disregard the 'you are perfeeect' message is saying that God does not create people perfectly. I mean, God made us unique, right? So now I'm sort of re-learning the non-cliché-ness of the cliché message: "You are beautiful just the way you are. You are unique. Be yourself."

Yes, I still roll my eyes at that. Because let's be real, it is overdone and it's pretty stupid when you forget about the Maker. It is stupid when you leave out the Very Reason Why we are beautiful and unique and the Reason why we can achieve amazing things and why we should be confident in our own quirks and our personal dreams and talents. If you're just like, drumming it in yourself: I am epic. I am cool. I am hashtag queen.... then I'm like, "OKAY. WHY."

And the reason why is God. And theeen it all makes sense. Then self-love becomes a beautiful, important thing rather than this selfish cliché thing for 'positive vibes's sake. Yes, socially, some are prettier than others. I'm not going to deny that. Some are more talented. Some are in better condition. 

But isn't everyone worth the same sacrifice of Jesus?

If you're think you're not unique and special and beautiful, then you're saying God's not a good artist. AND HE MADE THIS:

(random picture from pinterest duh)

I want to quickly change the subject and talk about mountains. I love love love mountains. There are literally no ugly mountains in the world. Each one is different and each one is wretchedly perfectly gorgeous. Why... WHY are they so beautiful? "Just because they... are." No, no, not satisfied with that answer. WHY ARE THEY SO RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS. Why did my heart fill with this swell when I stood on one last year at the Alps in France; looking down on clouds and sunshine and rocks and white tops and trees. WHY. Why is rock and tree so beautiful? WHY. Why. 

I'll tell ya why. God. It's a snippet of God's glory.

And us then? Aren't we snippets of God's glory? Aren't we? Aren't we the one creation made in God's image? 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US. Why do we not think we are beautiful?! Unique? Each and every one of us individually and specially designed with a different purpose?!

Today I wrote a kids book. It's only 16 pages and 500-something words; with tons of blank spaces for pictures I haven't drawn yet (and will probably not be that pretty.) It's written in rhyme (bringing out my inner Dr Suess here ya know) and it's about this 'perfect' mountain who tells all the other mountains that they're not good-looking with their weird shapes and rocks sticking out in odd places, and then a girl comes along and she can't believe that these mountains believe that they're not beautiful. 

Have you ever seen an ugly mountain? Well, God has never seen an ugly person. 

That's the little moral of the story. Anyway. I made it on a whim because it is an important message, and I'm kinda proud with the way it turned out, so I'll show you the last two verses.

No matter how spotty, different, dirty and sooty 

Listen to God because He should know about beauty 

He made those mountains, and He also made zillions of stars, 

He made little lambs, colourful flowers and huge planets like Mars 

 

And the One that made all these gorgeous things, 

The lions, the colours, the rainbows, the birds’ tiny wings – 

He also decided to make you; I know, it’s kinda bizarre, 

But that means that you are beautiful just the way you are.

Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you should accept yourself and embrace your quirks.  Yes, you are more beautiful in God's eyes than mountains are to your eyes. Yes, you are a sinner and probably not that beautiful on the inside. But you're covered by a huge love; your worth is tons and you are crazy beautiful as a result.

But please remember who to give the credit to. 

The Reliable Hope

Yes, there are tears. Tears of heart-break and stress. Tears that completely wear out every bone in a body; sobs that heave a being up and down in complete sadness.

But there are also tears of joy. Like when the war heroes returned from home alive; like when the girl took off her make-up and realised she was beautiful just like that; like when an audience heaps onto each other with tears of laughter because that comedian has a whole lot of funny bones.

Yes, there are blind people; people with legs chopped off, people with just three fingers, people who can't hear simple things like eggs sizzling in oil on the stove, and there are people with shocking disabilities that get shocked stares.

But there are beautiful eyelashes, smiles filled with gratitude and beauty, strong handshakes with friendly grips; people with vocal chords big enough to blow off arena roofs; people with those amazing bear-hugs.There are millions of people breathing God-made oxygen; able to do amazing things with the air and energy they take for granted.

Yes, people are dying - people who haven't said sorry and don't know Jesus. People that are very much loved and that will be missed so, so much.

But there is sunshine - golden and glorious, keeping this earth-ball spinning and preventing you from freezing to death. There is love; love and passion and people trying it out; failing; trying again. There is beautiful music - a soothing violin practising for a concert in the basement, gospel choirs screaming with joy. There are babies being born; new life with new possibilities. There are talented genes and quirky winks. There is laughter - that booming, hearty, excellent noise that means happiness.

Yes, people die in wars. People get hurt in more ways than physical, with blood and scars.  Yes, people are lonely. People are tortured; beaten; abused.

But there's God. Always.

There's Jesus, who died for you. Jesus, who is the God who made the mountains and the oceans and the starry constellations, who came to save you in the humble form of a man, unrecognisable with blood and pain on the cross. Jesus, who will one day take you into a world where the hope we need with our tears and pain will be 100% fulfilled. Jesus, who turned all the sadness upside down.  

There's hope, and it's real.

Let's replace...

small talk with Jesus talk
bucket lists with to-do lists
Henry Talbot with Matthew Crawley (:-P)
emails with letters
mirrors with windows
people with God
me with Him
my future with His Plan
smartphone screens with the word of God
instagram with photo albums
handshakes with hugs
worries with hope
self-consciousness with self-confidence
watching Youtube videos with praying
awkward silence with random jokes
timidity with strength
pride with humility
humming with singing
challenge with purpose + excitement
electricity light with sunlight
looking at the ground with looking at the stars
dreams with plans
ideas with realities
questions like 'how are you doing' with deeper questions
confusion with peace
giving up on the world with joy in God
Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Bennet with Jennifer Ehle's Elizabeth Bennet (haha okay, this one is subjective)
'meh I don't think I can' with 'well let's give it a go'
singing worship songs with worshipping by singing
negativity with positivity
hate with Love
living in the world with changing the world

Let's do this.

nostalgia

nostalgia // noun // a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.

I love nostalgia. It's weird and beautiful and melancholy and perceptive and heart-warming. It's wistful and sentimental. It's happy and sad. I love that you can't have nostalgia for bad memories - and I love that nostalgia isn't really about memories, it's more about past aspects - like a particular smell, or a smile, or a book, or a room. I love that nostalgia can dawn suddenly, unexpectedly, and make you think, pause; remember, reminisce about the good days past. I love that it reminds us that life has been good and that life is good - because one day we'll be filled with nostalgia for now.

I love nostalgia. It's a nice word too; it sounds nice and it has a twist to it - it's a clever word. It's a word that every individual interprets differently - a word so personal and intimate that no-one can describe quite what nostalgia feels for themselves.

Cows in pastures makes me nostalgic; mainly because we used to live across the road to fields with cows (also chickens; although not in the same field) and I walked there plenty of times. Also, every year we'd go to this farm in Switzerland and yep, you guessed it, cows with bells around their necks - chewing their hearts out on the dewy morning grass - were always part of our stay there.

Newborn babies make me nostalgic. Their crazy small fingers; toenails; ears... their innocence, their pure perfection; their delicate, gorgeous, gorgeous beauty. I love their eyes - looking at things without knowing things, looking at faces and trusting people without knowing a thing. I love their little noses and their kissable feet and wrinkly fingers and ugh goshdarnit they're so terribly adorable. Even if they're ugly and wrinkled, they have tear-drop-worthy gorgeousness about their beings. You get it if you stare at one long enough.

A friend from Church recently had a little boy and I got to hold him (yeahhh for like, five minutes) and his black eyes peering at me from his teensy face just UGH IT'S LIKE MAGIC I TELL YOU.

I guess newborns make me nostalgic because I've so many memories of newborn siblings - going to the hospital and fighting for a turn to hold said new sibling. So many memories of sorting out baby clothes and smelling baby shampoo (best . smell . ever . Can I have an amen?) and feeling those small fingers cling around one of mine. Holding a new sibling always sort of felt like holding part of me... part of my blood; in my young arms - a freakin' human being with a life ahead. Blank pages to fill.

Ladybird books make me nostalgic. (For anyone who doesn't know, Ladybird books aren't books about insects... they're about all sorts of things. They were made in Britain, I believe, to learn kids how to read.) Whenever I was ill, I would take all of them (and we have a lot of ladybird books) and I would read them all in my bed. I loved reading about Peter and Jane and the dolls and the horses and the cookies and the beach and Punch and Judy and just yes I loved it. I personally think the stories are stupid now, but yeah speak about nostalgia.

The Cinderella Ladybird book pictured above makes me so so nostalgic because I have such a vivid memory of discovering it between some boring French grammar books at Grandma and Granddad's house and yes lil' seven-year-old me was like ahhhh this book is the best book ever. I put it back there and every time we revisited, I would go back and reread it. I still kinda want Cinderella's dresses. Obviously mainly the pink one on the cover.

Banana shaped moons make me nostalgic. Now I love full moons; glorious and cunning and smart in the dark sky - but spiky banana moons remind me of when I was little and I would freak out and point at it because IT'S SO EXCITING. LOOK MAMA THERE'S THE MOOOON.

Astrid Lingdren's stories make me nostalgic. I used to be such an Astrid Lingdren fan. I had no idea she was a Swedish author; for me she was the author of 'Madieke en Liesbet' and I thought she lived in Belgium and I felt like she wrote them right to me. 

I luuurved reading about Madieke (I think; Margaret in English? Not sure. I read 'em in Dutch and it doesn't feel right in any other language, haha) and her adventures in her red house with her sister Liesbet. I wanted to throw meatballs from the roof and have an Easter chocolate man and all that. I wanted to be like Lisa in 'The Children of Noisy Village' (the English title sounds so wrong; but I shall use it for my dear readers. Appreciate all I do.) and have an attic room and collect pictures and own a lamb. And have the perfectest life. :-)

Basically, I wanted to live in an Astrid Lingdren book. And the gorgeous, full-colour picture books that I found in the library (see picture above) didn't really help. (Seriously when I found that picture on Pinterest a whole GUST (no, WIND) of nostalgia swept over me.) (#personalfeels)

Seagulls make me nostalgic because I remember being so excited to see them on what-felt-like-the-longest-journey-ever to England. Seeing seagulls meant we were in Calais which meant we were going to board on the ferry, which meant we were going to see the White Cliffs of Dover (ugh yes the White Cliffs of Dover give me such nostalgia... please; don't get me started!), which meant we were going to be in England. I love seagulls. Also the sound of them... nothing screams more beach and coast. It's a beautiful sound.

Library cards make me so nostalgic. The stamps marking the history of the travels of a book, the library ladies stamping new stamps on the card (I always wanted to do it because it sounded like so much fun to do)... I miss the library card days, guys. 

So. Many. Library memories. I'm so glad that libraries hadn't yet 'fully developed' into computer-generated libraries in my childhood. I'm so glad I associate stamps and library cards with books. I'm so glad that when I visit a library now I still expect the crunch of the stamp to interrupt the bookish silence in the air. I'm sad that it doesn't. I don't care about the efficiency of computer-technology-look-it-up libraries; I WISH LIBRARY CARDS WERE STILL A THING.

I miss the tiny library that lived near the local church before it disappeared and joined the big, modern one. Just thinking about that adorable library makes me nostalgic because it was literally the cutest place in the world and I always wanted to go there when Mama went. I would come home with BAGS of books (frequently the same ones over and over) and it was the bomb. (*whisper* I know you have no idea what I'm talking about but please, allow me to have my trip down memory lane.)

Pettson and Findus books make me nostalgic. I got these from frequent library visits (and haven't read one in aaages) and my word, so much nostalgia. They're basically books about this old man and his cat (the cat is the coolest kid ever) and the pictures are just gold - filled with adorable detail; little weird creatures peeping from rugs and corners, little bits and bobs... I poured myself into these books. I want to reread them all so badly right now. (If I have kids, these are on my to-buy-for-their-birthdays list; for sure.)

Tapes make me nostalgic. REMEMBER THESE??? When you could put them in CARS? (Sheesh, I'm only eighteen. I should not be feeling this old.) My favourite childhood tape was one my dad made of my older brother singing Nursery Rhymes and Christmas songs. Oh, and there was one tape of annoying Nursery Rhyme songs that my sister Hannah and my brother Daniel ALWAYS listened to - I was so sick of it I hid it in the garden with my older brother. (Still good memories.)

The Martine/Tiny books give me nostalgia. I'm sorry to - once again - talk about books none of you probably know about, but the Tiny (not a word meaning small; it's a name. Don't laugh. Her name is Tiny. It's from the name Martine.) books basically are my childhood. They're MINE. None of my sisters like them much and I can't see why because I when I look back at my childhood I see Tiny books Tiny books Tiny books. 

We still have almost all of them - all 50-something. Tiny was this girl with the perfect life and the pictures are perfect and it's so unrealistic and I LOVED THEM SO MUCH... *goes downstairs to reread them all*

Film rolls make me nostalgic. The old camera has now long been buried and been replaced by a sporty grey lil' pocket-sized thing, and I miss the film roll days, readers. I always wanted to have it after the pictures had been developed... I always had a fascination for it, I guess. I mean, how on earth was my face on this brown see-through object?

There you go... some stuff that makes me wistful and sentimental and nostalgic. 

For some reason, so does a frying pan filled with eggs, but I have no idea why. So do the Little House on the Prairie books of course - I didn't dare even mention those because you'd all be like: "UGHH I KNOW SHHH DON'T SAY IT AGAIN." :-P 

Now, if you read all of this, consider yourself my friend. (I realise it might have been boring for some people. That's okay. Nostalgia is different for different people; I told you in the early realms of this post, if you've been paying any attention.) Does any of the things I listed make you nostalgic? If so, consider yourself my friend as well. Tell me about all the personal feels in the comment section; I'm all ears.