Here's a poem I wrote at the age of 12 on the story of Pride and Prejudice.

I am not a poem person. I think it's pretty and I love the flowery whimsical-ness now and then, but to sit down and read it and enjoy it? No. Unless it's Dr Suess-type-poetry, which isn't really poetry, it's just rhymes and rhythms, but I could read Dr Suess books all day. Anyway, in honour of Hamlette's poetry month celebration, here's a comical kind of ditty I wrote on the story of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, when I was about twelve and my infatuation for the story was blossoming in its early blossoms.

 

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There are many books,

About people who are rich and have nice looks,

Pride and Prejudice is one of them,

with only one or two crooks

Lizzie meets Mr Darcy in a ball,

Looking very sad but tall,

He says he never takes a dance,

He stands silent, never listening to a call

Mrs Bennet loves Mr Bingley, a man she meets,

She lets Mary quote him a story by Keats,

But Mr Bingley is not interested,

He only likes Jane's French pleats!

Then Mr Collins comes, a man, very rare,

He is the house's next heir,

Mrs Bennet wants her house forever and says,

"Lizzie, I insist you on marrying him, there!"

Lizzie says no, and Mrs Bennet is upset,

Collins goes away and marries another lady he met.

"Oh Mr Collins!" cries Mrs Bennet,

"Lizzie would be better, that's what I bet!"

Then the youngest, Lydia, very very wild,

She goes away with Wickham, but she's only a child!

Wickham is a bad thief,

Who's not at all mild.

In the meantime, Darcy loves Lizzie, and she back,

Together those two have nothing they lack,

Jane marries Bingley, and Darcy marries Lizzie,

Together they have a lot of love- a whole stack!

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"A whole stack. " HA. Ha.

(I know. Absolutely and absurdly ridiculous (and I remember laughing while writing it as a 12-or-something-year-old) but I thought it might provide some shallow entertainment for some of you. You're welcome, and have a good day even if 99% of it is schoolwork, as it is in my case.)

The story of Elizabeth Bennet - As told by Naomi Bennet

You all know I love Pride and Prejudice, right, people? And you also know I love writing? Right? So these last few days I wrote this hopefully-fun short summary of Elizabeth Bennet's story. I had so much fun writing this, people. I hope you like it. 

Let's start.

------------------------------------------

The Story of Elizabeth Bennet

This is Elizabeth Bennet. She’s twenty years old (or ‘not one-and-twenty’, because that sounds better) and sometimes has muddy hems.

Most people think of her as that brunette who hated Mr Darcy and then actually liked him. Or something like that, anyway. But before all the Mr Darcy business, Mr Darcy was never even slightly talked of by people who knew Elizabeth Bennet.

Most people then thought of Elizabeth Bennet as ‘number two’ of those five girls with ‘the screaming mum’ and ‘the dad who doesn’t care.’ Other people, who knew her slightly better, thought of her as ‘that girl who says what she thinks.’  Yet other people, like Jane, her older sister, and Charlotte, her bestie across the road, knew her as Lizzy or Eliza, a loyal-and-fun-kind-of-friend.

The Bennet family were a mixture of people who screamed, people who didn’t scream, and people who did it just right.

The people who screamed were Mrs Bennet, Lydia, and Kitty (who kind of parroted Lydia, unfortunate as that may seem), the people who didn’t scream were Mr Bennet, Jane and Mary (who thought screaming was extremely vulgar), and the people, or, should I say, person, who did it just right was Lizzy. For this reason, Mr Bennet decided one day that Lizzy was his favourite. (Mrs Bennet thought that was shocking and declared that she needed her smelling salts, which, bless her, didn’t help.)

But then Mrs Bennet heard that they had new neighbours. For some reason or the other, she got very excited about that.

Maybe because the neighbour-dude was rich, or maybe because he was handsome, or maybe because his name was Charles Bingley, (which sounds rather nice, actually, if you think about it.) Maybe because a new neighbour meant more fancy balls. And more fancy balls meant more fancy gentlemen. And more fancy gentlemen meant more chances that one of the five Bennet girls would drastically fall in love and get married (which is what Mrs Bennet dreamt of unusually often). Mrs Bennet was therefore elated.

Mr Bennet heard about the new neighbour too, but he wasn’t excited in the least. He told his wife he didn’t care, and that upset her enormously.

Sooner or later they managed to meet Mr Bingley at a ball. Jane, Elizabeth’s older sister, was wearing gold with pine green trimmings, and Mr Bingley’s favourite colours happened to be gold and pine green, so he fell in love with her and danced with her twice. That made Mrs Bennet even more elated, and she told everyone they were practically engaged. (Jane didn’t really mind, because she fell in love with Mr Bingley as well.)

There was one thing, however, that no-one liked about Mr Bingley. (But then, it wasn’t really his own fault, so no-one went to him to complain about it.)

He had a friend who was a robotic snob. Although he was over-the-top handsome and over-the-top rich, that friend was just plain stiff annoying and did things such as telling Elizabeth that she wasn’t pretty. Everyone said he was odious. (Although not all in front of his face, of course.) This robotic snob was Mr Darcy. He really was a bit of a nuisance. He hardly reacted. He answered questions with ‘yes’ and ‘no’, and maybe ‘perhaps’ if he was in a talkative mood, and he wouldn’t dance because he thought everyone was either too ugly or too poor. He just stood at the wall and grumpily waited for the ball to be over.

A was a boring sort, he was.

Mrs Bennet, in the meanwhile, had found a man for Elizabeth. His name was Mr Collins and he had oily hair that smelt. At first Mr Collins wanted Jane, but when Mrs Bennet told him that Jane was already practically engaged, he looked around at the other Bennet girls and chose again. He didn’t want Lydia, because she snorted and it reminded him of pigs (and he didn’t like pigs). He didn’t fancy Kitty either, because she coughed too much. As for Mary, he didn’t want her because she liked books better than people. So he looked at Elizabeth and thought, ‘Why not?’

Elizabeth wasn’t a jot interested in Mr Collins, so when he proposed, she rejected him tartly. This gave Mrs Bennet a lot of pain, but Mr Bennet just told her to be quiet, and Mr Collins realised he preferred Elizabeth’s bestie Charlotte, so all was well.

Elizabeth was a bit disturbed by the fact that her bestie Charlotte was going to marry a man with oily hair that smelt, but she got cheered up by Mr Wickham. Mr Wickham was a redcoat. He was kind and charming. Lydia was nuts about all the redcoats, and Kitty was nuts about the redcoats as well, but Elizabeth only liked one redcoat. And that happened to be Mr Wickham.

She liked Mr Wickham even more when she discovered that he knew Mr Darcy and that he thought he was annoying as well. So they gossiped together. The more Mr Wickham talked about Mr Darcy, the more Elizabeth thought Mr Darcy was a big slutty-head annoyance, because Mr Wickham said all kind of things. He said that Mr Darcy had broken his heart by saying that he couldn’t marry his younger sister. He said that Mr Darcy had taken away money that really, really, really actually belonged to him. And so on. They gossiped for hours. (People thought they were flirting, but they weren’t.)

By this time, Mr Bingley had organised another ball, in which he had invited both Mr Darcy and the entire Bennet family as well as all the redcoats.

The ball was glittering and stunning and all those kinds of things, but Elizabeth, frankly, hated it. There were five reasons why she hated it. Number one, Mr Collins stepped on her toe. Number two, Mr Wickham wasn’t there. Number three, Elizabeth’s sister Mary sang a solo in front of everyone and it was simply so embarrassing that Elizabeth almost died. Number four, Elizabeth’s sister Lydia snorted five times and that was super embarrassing as well. Number five, she ended up dancing with Mr Darcy.

Elizabeth and Mr Darcy’s dance was very awkward. They talked about awkward things such as Mr Wickham and pride and prejudice. Mr Darcy wanted to change the subject to ‘books’, but Elizabeth didn’t, so they didn’t.

Anyway, all I can tell you is that she was dead relieved when the dance was over.

Elizabeth asked Mr Wickham, after the ball was over, why he didn’t come. “Why,” he said. “I couldn’t. If I would have, Mr Darcy and I, being the enemies we are, would’ve caused a very unfortunate scene.” He smiled, and looked very handsome. “And I don’t want that,” he finished. And then he bowed charmingly.

Elizabeth and Jane sooner or later both received a letter. Elizabeth’s was from her bestie Charlotte (who she missed to bits because she didn’t live across the road any more, she lived with Mr Collins) who asked her to come and visit. (Elizabeth promptly accepted that invitation.)

Jane’s letter was sadder. Her letter was, more or less, from Mr Bingley. He said that he was moving to London and that he would never come back again, ever. (Talk about unexpected news.) Jane, needless to say, was very upset indeed, and spent her hours sitting alone, looking at her gold and green dress and thinking of Mr Bingley. Poor girl.

Elizabeth, although very upset and confused about the whole Mr-Bingley-and-Jane-business, got cheered up when she finally saw her bestie Charlotte again. But then she got not-so-cheered-up when she saw Mr Collins again. (Mr Collins’ hair still looked oily and still smelt, you see.) Another thing that made her not-so-cheered-up was that Mr Collins brought her to this grumpy rich lady called Catherine de Bourgh who asked her all kinds of stupid questions. Another thing that made Elizabeth not-so-cheered-up was that she met Mr Darcy there.

Mr Darcy, by pure coincidence, happened to be the nephew of the grumpy rich lady Mr Collins brought her to. (Grumpiness, Elizabeth thought, runs in that family.) Anyway, Mr Darcy was terribly creepy, as usual. He came into the house and went off after five minutes. He stared at her and judged her piano playing. All sorts of stuff. Elizabeth thought he was very odious.

But just when she thought Mr Darcy couldn’t get any worse, she heard that it was Mr Darcy who told Mr Bingley to go to London and forget all about Jane. Elizabeth made a list of reasons why she didn’t like Mr Darcy, and she didn’t have enough paper to finish it.

Then one day she heard a knock on the door. In came Mr Darcy. He had sweat on his forehead. “I love you,” he said, “And, even though I don’t know why I’m asking you this, because you’re not even pretty or rich, will you marry me?”

Elizabeth said, “No.” Well, more than that. She said, “No, of course not,” and “You are the last man in the world I would ever marry” and “You ruined Mr Wickham’s life, you!” and “You ruined my sister Jane’s life too!” and stuff like “You annoying person.” Mr Darcy pretended not to be offended, but he was. He might have even cried in his bed that following night. In fact, he was so upset about this that he wrote her a letter.

The letter went something like this:

Dear Madam, Don’t worry, I won’t propose again. I know you hate me. But I would just like to give my defence. Yes, I did separate Mr Bingley and Jane. I did that because I thought Jane didn’t really like Mr Bingley and only wanted him because she wanted to have more money to buy more lace for her dresses. I don’t think she really liked him at all. But now about Mr Wickham. What he has told you isn’t true. He didn’t love my sister – he only wanted her because she’s rich. I saved her just on time. And Mr Wickham never owed any of my money. Mr Wickham is the villain, Elizabeth. God bless you. Darcy.

(The letter did sound somewhat more Darcy-ish than that.)

Elizabeth read it quite a lot of times, left Charlotte, and went home to tell Jane all about it.

They decided not to tell anyone, because they weren’t sure. You know, better safe than sorry, and all that. But the more Elizabeth thought, the more she thought that Mr Wickham was the bad one and that Mr Darcy was the good one. So when Lydia said she was going to go to visit all the redcoats, Elizabeth didn’t approve. (But Lydia went anyway. Younger sisters don't often listen to their older sisters. It's a Thing.)

Elizabeth thought of Mr Darcy more and more every day (don’t ask me why.) One day, her Aunt and Uncle asked her if she would like to go to Pemberley. Pemberley, they said, is where Mr Darcy lives. It’s big and beautiful, they said, and Mr Darcy isn’t at home right now and the house is free for visitors, they said. So Elizabeth said, ‘Okay’ or something like that, and went to visit Pemberley.

Pemberley was gorgeous, on the outside and on the inside. The outside was gorgeous because of the trees and the parks and the lakes and the swans, and the inside was gorgeous because of the pianos and the harps and the pictures of Mr Darcy. But then all of a sudden, Something Awkward Happened. Very Awkward. Elizabeth bumped into Mr Darcy.

Mr Darcy wasn’t offended. In fact, he almost smiled a bit. He took Elizabeth for a walk, and asked her if she liked Pemberley. (Of course she did, she said.)

The next day, in a hotel, Elizabeth received a letter from Jane. It was a bad-news-letter. It was about Mr Wickham, in fact, so of course it was bad. It was also about Lydia. The bad news was this – Lydia and Mr Wickham had eloped. Run away. Together. In the night. Scandalous. Elizabeth started to cry, because that meant everyone would think the Bennets were awful scandalous people and then no-one would ever want to be their friend again.

Just then, Mr Darcy came inside. (He really had an impeccable timing.) He patted Elizabeth’s shoulder and asked her what was wrong. When Elizabeth told him, he quickly said goodbye. (Elizabeth thought she would never see Mr Darcy again, and therefore she cried some more, because she suddenly realised she was in love with him. I told you her story was a complicated one. (Did I?))

She rushed home and tried to cheer Mrs Bennet up. (She couldn’t.)

Mr Bennet was off in London to try to find Lydia and Wickham. You see, they had to get married. If they didn’t, the Bennet family was going to be a scandal for the rest of their lives. Mr Bennet didn’t find them, but someone else did. And that someone else made them marry by giving Mr Wickham, that odious creature, a lot of money. That someone else was a benefactor indeed. Good sort, that someone, isn’t he?

That someone was Mr Darcy. Elizabeth, when she found out, couldn’t believe her ears.

But there was one more Sad Thing. Jane and Bingley were still miles apart. But never mind, because Mr Darcy solved that too. ‘Mr Bingley,’ he said, ‘You can have Jane anyway.’ So Mr Bingley came back again, Elizabeth suddenly loved Mr Darcy more than anything, and Darcy still loved Elizabeth, so yeah.

So Mr Bingley married Jane, and Elizabeth married Mr Darcy. They were jolly happy, I suppose, and didn’t invite Mr Wickham to their weddings, because odious people weren’t invited (and also because, frankly, he didn’t deserve it.)

Elizabeth went to live at Pemberley with Mr Darcy, which was heavenly. (She spent her first two weeks of married life teaching Mr Darcy how to smile, and the next two weeks how to laugh.) 

On why I don't like 2005 P&P

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I am here with a very controversial subject. (I will win it, by the way, the debate-to-come in the comments. Just warning ya.)

I have doubted and postponed the writing of this post, because I know I have some followers - who I wuv just as much as the others, of coursey-course (I am not an encourager of favouritism, you see) - who really are excruciatingly fond of this two-thousand-and-five Pride and Prejudice. So please, don't get upset by my little opinion of no real true consequence. I just want to do a rant. Because, I'm dreadfully sorry, I do. not. like. This version. At all.

Now. Allow me to put the record straight. I am NOT one of those people who believe you can only love one version. Nonsense. I can prove people-who-think-that-of-me wrong by pointing out the example of Sense and Sensibility. I love, love both 1995 and 2008 equally. There. See? It's just that that coincidentally is not the case with Pride and Prejudice. I've seriously TRIED to like the 05 version. I promise. I watched it TWICE, for Pete's sake. But I just DON'T GET IT.

But first, because I always encourage positivism (I'm afraid you won't see much in today's post), I will tell you what I DID like.

1. The music. Really. It's SCRUMPTIOUS. I have nothing whatsoever against the music.

2. Jane, if she wouldn't have had such a very MESSY hair-style 90% of the movie, was very good. I love Susannah Harker's Greek, kind, sweet look, but, after the messy-hair-complaint, I have no further complaint about Rosamund Pike's Jane. She was very sweet, very beautiful, so darling. I love both Janes dearly.

3. The scenery was very lovely in some scenes.

That's all I can think of for the time being. Let's go to the real part of the post, shall we? Are you sure you're ready? Okay. I suppose now is as good a time as any.

Let's start with Keira Knightley's Lizzy, shall we? Now, I'm not a Keira Knightley hater or anything, mark that. I just DON'T think she's Lizzy. She just... *splutters helplessly*... ISN'T. Thing is, when I see Keira Knightley, I see something like this, not something like this. I see a kind of fashion-model, a teenager of the 20th century with the side bangs and so-obviously-make-upped-face. She's beautiful, but she just doesn't LOOK Regency.

Also, SHE shouts instead of making discussions in an at-least-tolerably ladylike manner. Also she GOES OUT IN TOWN WITH HER HAIR DOWN. And in the fields in her night garb. Now, for those times, that was positively shocking. Sounds weird? Well, it was. It WAS positively shocking. Times have changed since Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice, dear readers. Society behaved differently. 

And that's the PROBLEM with this P&P! It's so ridiculously... modern. This Elizabeth Bennet continually reminds me of those teenage girls walking along the shops. I can see her pixie cut under her always-messy wig throughout the movie, and I almost expect to see flip-flops when she lifts the hem of her dress. Most of the time she looks like she's just tumbled out of her bed - which, don't get me wrong, could look charming, but which was SO not HOW-IT-WAS-ISH for those times!

Pride and Prejudice 2005 is the least Period Drama-ish Period Drama ever. There I said it.

OH PLEASE. This looks like a Youtube Ad advertising Nivea cream or something like that. Or someone trying out special camera effects. This is just NOT Jane Austen. 

Dear people, do these things come in to your mind when you think of Jane Austen? - Messy Hair? Night-gowns!!? Swings? Pigs? Elbows on the table? Whispering in Church? Shoulders slumping down? Georgian gowns? Well, if those things come to your mind, fine. :-) But personally I don't think of these things and That's also why this P&P bothers me.

It's like everyone is wearing their pyjamas the whole time. I DO beg your pardon, but I must tell you. Our family calls this P&P 'Pride and Pyjamas.' We do. My brothers came up with it, and I have to say I thought it exceedingly fitting and I call it by that myself.

Look. LISTEN TO THIS. Remember that scene where Mr Darcy comes and gives Lizzy the letter? Well, that's supposed to be the one where Mr Darcy gives it to Lizzy during a stroll in the woods, right? Nope, ma'am, NOT in this version. Here it's the most VULGAR thing ever - Mr Darcy just COMES IN the room (without knocking or 'exuse me's or the maid introducing him - he just opens the front door like that), in the late evening, while Lizzy is WEARING HER PYJAMAS (this, for that time, was really - oh, I wish you'd understand - really just not exceptable!) and hands her the letter. WHILE SHE'S WEARING HER PYJAMAS.

And remember that scene where Lady Catherine comes and gives Lizzy a good talk? Yeah, it's supposed to be the stroll in the garden, right? Nope, ma'am, it's in the middle of the night, while everyone is in their night-garb. Lady-Catherine! One of the MOST important, respected people! She goes to the Bennet's in the NIGHT, and faces a family with loose hair and night-gowns?!!! Oh, PLEASE. Like this is accurate. I really can't watch it.

Why is everything in the night? Why can't there be some scenes with TIDY rooms and NEAT hairstyles? 

Look, research has been done and it has been factualized that the Bennet family would have been able to afford eleven servants. And listen to me, the Bennet sisters had no jobs like women have now, so it is only natural for them to have the time to do their hair beautifully everyday! Please! People complain sometimes that the Bennet sisters in 95' Pride and Prejudice look too 'perfect' and coiffed every day. But really, if you had eleven servants in the house and no job, wouldn't you have the time to do your hair every day and to look good and pretty every day? Especially if you went into town?

I am very upset.

SERIOUSLY.

It's the last scene that pains me the most. (The pain is real. Dare ye not laugh.)

So this is how it goes, right? Lizzy goes out (not in the daytime, of course, in disastrously messy hair, of course, and in her nightgown, of course, this is nothing new) into the fields (insert misty-ness and sunset-ness for romantic effects) and VIOLA, coincidence everyone, Mr Darcy appears magically, with his messy hair and his unbuttoned-things.

Myself, I can't take that. How did they know they were going to meet in the same place? Like, did they message each other on their phones? (Oh no, this is a Regency movie. Sorry. Forgot for a minute.) (*snort*)

Why did the movie makers make everything so... steamy? Mr Collins, he gets a dull unromantic room with a big roast of beef. Mr Darcy, he gets rain and sunsets. Not fair, right? In the book and in 95 P&P the proposals for both men are in similar places. No suddenly-they-dance-on-their-own-in-an-empty-ballroom. No almost-kisses after the first proposal, either. (Seriously?!! They ALMOST kissed after that angry conversation in the rain! Like, Lizzy EXPECTED one?!!)

And when they dance at the ball in Netherfield, they made it all steamy and slow and staring-in-each-others-eyes-y. That's not how Jane Austen wrote it. It was a curt and so not romantic. In this P&P even Lizzy (who's supposed to be rather monstrously disgusted by Mr Darcy, remember? She doesn't LIKE him, remember?) she GAZES bewitchingly in his eyes.

And talking about the world 'bewitched.' Where does THIS come from?!! This quote: 'You have bewitched me, body and soul?' This is just... I'm not even starting. 

Oh look, Miss Bingley forgot to put on her dress.

And there are millions of other things. I'm so sorry. I won't cover them all, because I can make a huge unhealthy rant out of every little scene. I'm horrific, I know, and I feel very bad on your (that is, if you like P&P'05) on your part. (Seriously, pulease don't get offended.)

But because I've started, I must finish. Here are a few more mini rants:

1. Mr Darcy. He doesn't look like a man who owns 10000 a year. Nope, ma'am. Why did they make him look all sloppy? He looks like a farmer boy, a bit dressed up, maybe, but that's all. I really can't stand it when men have bad haircuts. He looks scruffy and bored and 'AH-I-don't-care' and 'Poooor-me'-ish the whole time. He doesn't like the slightest bit proud, either. This should be called 'Humble and Pyjamas', not 'Pride and Prejudice.'

2. (Also, Mr Bingley's hair. Not even starting. Mr Bingley was just a weirdo. A puppet of some sort, almost. His 'laugh' HAUNTS me in the night.)

3. Also, they made this P&P look like it was set several years earlier. Some people wear Regency things, but most of the people wear Georgian garb. Even my older brother, who normally NEVER notices anything fashion-wise (he's that kind of chap) commented that this P&P isn't Regency, it's Georgian. It's like they didn't know which one to choose, so they made it a mix. They allowed some girls to wear Regency things but gave Georgian garb to all the rest. Make Up Your Mind, please.

4. Mr Bennet looks like a pirate. Benjamin Whitrow's Mr Bennet is just SO superior.

5. Everyone has messy hairstyles practically all the time. I know I've talked about it already, but I had to mention it again, because that's one of the things I dislike the most. I think they might have forgotten that combs existed in the Regency (Georgian) era. Poor them. One must think the best, after all.

6. Mrs Bennet wasn't funny. My opinion solely then.

7. Same goes for Lydia. I didn't think she was funny. Of course, the girls here LOOKED more like teenagers (also because they acted and looked more like teenagers do now, in 2015) but I didn't get the taste of the brilliant characters.

8. Charlotte Lucas was good, but it made me wince to see her and Elizabeth run and giggle like Lydia and Kitty in the ball room. I doubt very strongly that twenty-seven-year-olds would have done loud giggling and RUNNING in the ballroom. (Oh yes, that's also a reason why I don't like this Lizzy. She behaves like Lydia and Kitty half of the time. And her giggles are weird. (Must have been influenced by Mr Bingley, I suppose.))

9. My one last big point I'm going to cover is this - the movie's, what's the word for that? - setting? - was weird. Sometimes it went REALLY slow, filming the scenery and the grounds at Pemberly, and Elizabeth Bennet's eyes (seriously, we KNOW you have eyes, Elizabeth Bennet) and the swing in the muddy front yard very slowly, veeeerrry slowly. And then SUDDENLY we go back to the story - whoooosh, whoosh, zam, slap. People talk very fast, everything tumbles over each other.

Pride and Prejudice is a super complex story. You can't jolly well squash it into two hours or less. Or maybe you could, but not if you spend quarter of the time filming eyes and romantic effects. I think so strongly, at least.

10. Also, the fact that you can see Keira Knightley's pixie cut in MANY of the scenes drives me a bit crazy.

I'm sorry.

I just don't like this movie.

*runs off*

*edit* Go read this post here if you're a P&P05 lover. I have something to tell you.

My favourite P&P95 scenes

*happy sigh*

 

Let's talk about Pride and Prejudice. The one version. The good one. Of course, you know me, I love all it's scenes to itty-bitty-bits, but some of them stand up in it's own particular way. Here are some of my favourite P&P95 scenes.

 

 

Mrs Bennet:  Jane! Jane! Oh, my dear Jane! 
Jane:   What is the matter? 
Mrs Bennet:  He is come! He is come! 
Jane:   Who is come? 
Mrs Bennet:  Mr Bingley, of course! Make haste, make haste, hurry down! Oh, gracious, you’re not half dressed! Hill! Hill! Oh, where is Hill? Never mind, Sarah. You must come to Miss Bennet this moment. Come along, girl, and help her on with her gown! Never mind Miss Lizzy’s hair! 
Kitty:   Mama! Mama! Where is my new locket that Lydia brought me from London? Mary, have you seen my new locket? 
Mary:   I shouldn't know it if I did see it; I care nothing for such baubles. 
Mrs Bennet:  Oh, never mind your locket, girl. Jane, stir yourself. He is here, he is here! 

Jane:   Mama, Lizzy and I will be down as soon as we can. Let Kitty go down, she is forwarder than any of us. 

Mrs Bennet:  Oh, hang Kitty, what has she to do with it? Jane, be quick! Oh, where is your muslin dress, dear? Oh, Hill! Hill! Where is Hill?

 

 

The Hall Scene. It's just so outroarously funny. Mrs Bennet in a panicky mood? Just a feast for the eye, haha. This scene really shows everyone's characters - Mrs Bennet yelling, Kitty talking about something entirely different, Jane trying to please her mother and help everywhere, Lizzy sensible, but on the background, and Mary sullen, as she always is.

 

She runs out. In the hall, Mr Collins steps briskly from his room, humming a merry tune to himself. He pulls up short with a startled gasp as Lydia runs out and they confront each other. Lydia gasps in shock as well, clutching her dress to her bosom. They juggle for space to pass one another. Mr Collins puts up a hand to avert his gaze. Lydia sees the funny side, and begins to giggle hysterically. She runs off to her room. Mr Collins regains his dignity as he descends the stairs, but is brought up short by sounds of unbridled mirth from the girls' bedroom - Lydia has evidently told Kitty. Outside Netherfield. The house is warmly lit and inviting. Carriages arrive briskly at the front steps. Music can be heard from within. The Bennet's carriage arrives. Mr Collins gets out first, and extends his hand to Lizzie.

 

 

The Lydia-Collins hall bump. Another hall scene! Is it wicked of me to enjoy this scene? Well, I do. I makes me Lydia-snort every time. I love Lydia's giggles, and I rather love seeing Mr Collins so appalled. So yeah. Secret is out, I suppose - I love this scene.

 

Elizabeth:  I believe we must have some conversation, Mr Darcy. A very little will suffice. You should say something about the dance, perhaps. I might remark on the number of couples. 
Darcy:   Do you talk by rule, then, when you're dancing? 
Elizabeth:  Yes, sometimes it is best. Then we may enjoy the advantage of saying as little as possible. 
Darcy:   Do you consult your own feelings in this case, or seek to gratify mine?               
Elizabeth:  Both, I imagine. We each have an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room. 
Darcy:   ’Tis no very striking resemblance of your own character, I'm sure. Uh, do you often walk into Meryton? 
Elizabeth:  Yes, quite often. When you met us the other day, we’d just been forming a new acquaintance. 
Darcy:   Mr Wickham has the happy manners that enable him to make friends. Whether he is equally capable of keeping them is less certain. 
Elizabeth:  He has been unlucky as to lose your friendship in a way he’s likely to suffer for all his life. 
Sir William:  Allow me to congratulate you, sir! Such superior dancing is rarely to be seen. I'm sure you’ll own your fair partner is well worthy of you. I hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event takes place, eh Miss Lizzy? What congratulations will then flow in! 
Elizabeth:  Sir, I . . . . 
Sir William:  Nay, nay, I understand. I'll not detain you one moment longer from your bewitching partner, sir. A pleasure, sir. Capital! Capital! 
Elizabeth:  I remember hearing you once say that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was implacable. You are very careful, are you not, in allowing your resentment to be created? 
Darcy:   I am. 
Elizabeth:  And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice? 
Darcy:   I hope not. May I ask to what these questions tend? 
Elizabeth:  Merely to the illustration of your character; I am trying to make it out. 
Darcy:   And what is your success? 
Elizabeth:  I cannot get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly. 
Darcy:   I wish, Miss Bennet, that you would not attempt to sketch my character at the present moment. I fear the performance would reflect no credit on either of us. 
Elizabeth:  Bit if I don't take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity. 
Darcy:   I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours.

 

Lizzy and Darcy's dance. Of course! This is one of my absolute favourite scenes. Elizabeth and Darcy dance their first dance. What I love about this is that they didn't try to make it romantic. In P&P05 they had them look dreamily in each others eyes, as if they both knew they were destined to be together. I don't need that, thank you. Here, it's a rather march-y dance, and no lovey-dovey talk. Both talk shortly and tartly. But then... In the back of everyone's mind, there's a little feelsy tension between them... Gahh. Love this scene.

 

Mrs Bennet:  Oh, Mr Bennet! You are wanted immediately. We are all in uproar. You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr Collins, for she vows she will not have him, and if you do not make haste, Mr Collins will change his mind and he will not have her. 
Mr Bennet:  I have not the pleasure of understanding you. Of, ah, what are you talking? 
Mrs Bennet:  Of Mr Collins and Lizzy! Lizzy declares she will not have Mr Collins, and Mr Collins begins to say he will not have Lizzy. 
Mr Bennet:  Well, what am I to do on the occasion? It seems a hopeless business. 
Mrs Bennet:  Speak to Lizzy about it yourself! Tell her you insist upon her marrying him! 
Mr Bennet:  Let her come in. 
Mrs Bennet:  Lizzy! Lizzy! Your father wishes to speak to you. 
Mr Bennet:  Come here, my child. I, ah, I understand Mr Collins has made you an offer of marriage. It is true? 
Elizabeth:  Yes, sir. 
Mr Bennet:  Very well. And, ah, this, ah, this offer of marriage you have refused. 
Elizabeth:  I have. 
Mr Bennet:  I see. Well we now come to the point. Your mother insists on your accepting him. Is it not so, Mrs Bennet? 
Mrs Bennet:  Yes, or I will never see her again! 
Mr Bennet:  An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins, and, ah, I will never see you again if you do. 
Mrs Bennet:  Oh, Mr Bennet!

 

The Unhappy Alternative scene is my ALL TIME favourite. Not the end. I can't tell you how much I love this scene. Love the Daddy-daughter love, the Mrs Bennet hysteria, the funniness. It cracks me up evvvery single time. If you didn't laugh while watching this scene, there's something seriously wrong with you. I mean, seriously, just looking at these screencaps... I'm snickering.

 

Kitty:   Lizzy! Do you mind if I just run down the lane here to call on Maria Lucas? 
Elizabeth:  Uh, no, not at all. Mr Darcy, I can go no longer without thanking you for your kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known of it, I have been most anxious to tell you how grateful I am, for my family and for myself. You must not blame my aunt for telling me. Lydia betrayed it first, and then I couldn't rest till I knew everything. I know what trouble and what mortification it must have cost you. Please let me say this, please allow me to thank you, on behalf of all my family, since they don't know to whom they are indebted. 
Darcy:   If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Your family owes me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you. You’re too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever. 
Elizabeth:  Oh, my feelings . . . my feelings are . . . I’m ashamed to remember what I said then. My feelings are so different. In fact, they are quite the opposite. 
Darcy:   Lady Catherine told me of her meeting with you. I may say that her disclosure had quite the opposite effect to the one she intended. It taught me to hope as I’d scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew that had you absolutely decided against me, you would have acknowledged it openly. 
Elizabeth:  Oh, yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that! After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations. 
Darcy:   And what did you say of me that I did not deserve? My behaviour to you at the time was unpardonable; I can hardly think of it without abhorrence. Your reproof I shall never forget: "Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." You know not how those words have tortured me. 
Elizabeth:  I had not the smallest idea of their ever being taken in such a way. 
Darcy:   I can easily believe it. You thought me devoid of every proper feeling, I’m sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget. You said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me. 
Elizabeth:  Oh, do not repeat what I said then! 
Darcy:   No, I have been a selfish being all my life. As a child I was given good principles, but was left to follow them in pride and conceit. And such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.

 

The nicest scene. Or whatever. This scene is just so, so, so SWEET. It's so suitable, so romantic, so darling, so gaaaah. Looking at these screencaps makes me want to watch the movie all over again. I can't wait for my birthday - then I'm going to watch the movie. Anyway, long story short (well, ha. I haven't written a 'long story' have I?) this is the marvellous, darling, gooey scene there ever was. Love you, P&P95 makers.

 

Miss Bingley:  You are very quiet this evening, Mr Darcy. I sincerely hope you're not pining for the loss of Miss Eliza Bennet. 
Darcy:   What?
Excuse me.

 

The 'What' scene. Now, this is a very short, snippy little scene for which I have an extreme fondness for. For those of you who haven't scene this movie (pun intended), you won't understand why I enjoy this scene. It's the way Mr Darcy says 'what' - and Caroline's slighted face afterwards. Priceless scene.

 

 

I basically love all the scenes. Including... the Meryton Assembly scene, the 'Not handsome enough to tempt me' scene, the 'Lydia-bad-news' scene, Mr Darcy comforting Lizzy scene, the last wedding scene, the 'Mary, Grimstock!' scene, the 'Slumber dear Maid' scene, the 'six inches in the mud' scene... Yup, you definitely get the point. Loads of favourites. :-)

 

 

Now I'll close off with one last favourite scene:

 

Mr Bennet:  Are you out of your senses to be accepting this man, Lizzy? Have you not always hated him? 
Elizabeth:  Papa . . . .
Mr Bennet:  I, I've given him my consent. He's the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse anything. But let me advise you to think the better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life. He’s rich to be sure, but will he make you happy? 
Elizabeth:  Have you any objections apart from your belief in my indifference? 
Mr Bennet:  None whatever. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him. 
Elizabeth:  I do. I do like him. I love him. Indeed he has no improper pride. He’s perfectly amiable. If you only knew his generous nature. I didn't always love him, but I love him now so very dearly. He is truly the best man I have ever known. 
Mr Bennet:  Well, my dear, if this be the case, he deserves you. I could not have parted with you to anyone less worthy, Lizzy.

 

Am I the only one who chokes up during that scene? It's just so sweet. :-)

 

What are some of your favourite P&P scenes?

Is it mentioned in this post?

 

 

Janeite Tag!

~Thank and link back to the person who tagged you.

Thank you, Miss Jane Bennet, for tagging me with this super fun 'Janeite tag'! Dashed good idea!

 

~Tell how you were introduced to Jane Austen and share one fun fact about your Janeite life (this fun fact can be anywhere from "I stayed up all night reading Emma," to "I visited Chawton and met Anna Chancellor.").

I was introduced at the age of twelve, when my mother bought Pride and Prejudice 1995. Even before watching, I loved this movie so much. Immediately, after my first viewing, it was officially my favourite movie ever! Then I started reading the books, watching other movies... you know, I'm practically addicted now.

Fun fact: I watch Pride and Prejudice 1995 at every birthday of mine. I know how to dance Mr Beveridges Maggot and several other Jane Austen dances.

~Answer the tagger's questions.

~Do you have a favourite Austen couple?  If so, what do you think their married life would be like?

As much as I adore Elizabeth Bennet and her Mr Darcy, the honour goes to Mr Knightley and Emma (as portrayed by Johnny and Romola, of course.) Their married life will be long and happy - they will tease, laugh with each other and always stay best friends!

 ~Who is your favourite minor character, in any of Miss Austen's books?

I love Kitty Bennet!

 ~List 3-7 of your favorite Austen quotes.

"Nonsensical girl!" (Mr Knightley)

 

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." (Mr Knightley)

 

"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins... and I will never see you again if you do." (Best EVER. Mr Bennet)

 

"You take delight in vexing me!" (Mrs Bennet)

 

"Shelves in the closet? Happy thought indeed!" (Lizzy Bennet)

 

"Ship-court?!!" "No, Harriet. Court-ship!" (Harriet Smith and Emma Woodhouse)

 

"Oh, how I wish this rain would stop!" "I wish YOU would stop." (Mrs and Mr Palmer)

 

(I know some of these aren't from the books, but from the moves. But... yeah, I couldn't resist. Especially Mr Palmers'. :)

 ~How many JA books do you own?

ALL. *Proud look*

 ~What Austen character do you think you're most like?

I'm nonsensical, like Emma Woodhouse - but I can also be really emotional. So I'd say Marianne Dashwood, with some Emma Woodhouse throw-in.

 ~Have you read the Juvenilia?

Sorry! No. What is it?

 ~Favorite movie/TV adaptation of an Austen novel?

Need I answer this? No, I don't. Read this post again if you don't know yet. I watch it every birthday and I'm a die-hard fan. You know what it is.

 

Thank you Jane, that was fun!