The Stereotype Busters: Oldest Sisters

WHAT-HO! (now and then I really have to use that word to start off a blog post. Today was one of those 'now and then's.)

Dear folks, do all of you follow Melody's blog? (You can find it here.) Melody's blog is one of my uber-favourites in this highly entertaining blogging world, mostly because practically ever blog post is centered around Jane Austen, which, y'know (or y'should know) is always a good idea. Anyway, Melody has started this thing called 'The Stereotype Busters' in which anyone who wishes to (which could very well include you or you or you) may write rants against those annoying pecsy stereotypes around the world. Because Stereotypes ANNOY us, right? (So head over to this post for information, if you're interested, and all that.)

Now, the Stereotype I'm going to prove the contrary to, are those 'Oldest Sister' Stereotypes. Yes, there are several, when it comes to that. Oldest Sister stereotypes rile me to no end, mainly because I am the oldest girl in a family of ten, and I feel I must defend myself. Heehee.

I'm going to talk about three Older-Sister-Stereotypes, but I'm going to focus most on the last one, because it's the one that irritates me the most. Please bare with me.

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FIRST // THE STEREOTYPICAL PERFECT AND HELPFUL OLDER SISTER

Dear Jane Austen, I love you to itty-bits, but Jane Bennets do, frankly, not exist. At least not in my world.

So this older sister Stereotype sometimes gets paired with me. *Snort* No, not because people think I'm perfect. But because people assume that, because I'm the oldest girl in a large family, I spend the whole day changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and being a 'second mother.' (Ugh I HATE that phrase. 'Second Mother.' If someone calls me that EVER again, I'm going to collapse in a frensie of fury.) (I am happy to say, though, that fewer people call me that now I'm older. But I got pestered with the entirely irritating phrase in my younger years a lot. *Shudder*)

That's an Very Annoying Older Sister Stereotype, people. That older sister who never complains.  That older sister who literally has no life aside from working at home and being a 'second mother.' That older sister who ends up being the old maid in books because she was too busy helping at home. YEAH, THAT.

But then, there's also the complete contrary...

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SECOND // THE VAIN, BOY-CRAZY STEREOTYPICAL OLDER SISTER

Now we also have a completely different stereotype! Oh goodness, where do these all COME from? (I will make them disappear.)

You know what kind of stereotypical older sister I'm talking about now, don't you? That kind of 'going-out-of-the-house', 'I'm-OLD-enough', 'make-up-crazy', 'high-heels-primpy', '1000-boy-friends-at-the-same-time' kind of older sister. Sometimes slash rather often that kind of character gets shoved to the youngest sister (as in the case of Pride and Prejudice), but I've seen or read more than enough books or movies where the older sister is like this.

Often, such as in 'Cheaper by the Dozen' and 'Sound of Music' it will be the case of a slightly sheltered family, and the oldest girl will rebel by doing something like wearing a daring dress or cutting their hair or secretly going out to visit the telegram-boy. You get the point. Rebels and rather without-a-head-ish kind of girls.

Seriously, like, ARE there stories without vain oldest sisters? (Yes, there are. Of course.)

I find this Stereotype rather annoying, because, I admit it (there, don't say I don't tell you everything!), one of my worst fault is being rather... well, I am sometimes a bit vain. I do care what I look like. Don't most girls? But I'm not the stereotypical vain older sister at all - I'm kind of 'Meg March'-vain, not Scarlett-O'Hara-vain. I'm not the boy-crazy, loity-toitering in heels older sister at all, thank you very much.

And now we can move on to the 'main' one I'm talking about in this post. The Stereotypical older sister that gets so horrible misused in literature, cinema and real life. Are you ready for my rant? Because there's one.

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THIRD // THE STEREOTYPICAL BOSSY OLDER SISTER

When I was younger, like eight or nine and soso, there were times when I HATED being the oldest sister, and the reason was not because I "had" to look after babies (snort, I rather enjoyed that, and I didn't have to at all, that's just a stereotype) and things like that. Nope, the reason was because I so often read books where the oldest sister was vain and bossy, while the younger sister was the fun, main character.

Now, the word "bossy." That's a strong word.

It is NATURAL for the older kids in families to, y'know... be protective. To kind of POINT OUT things. Like, if I see my little sister put her hand in a jar of jam, I'm not going to go 'okay, fine, bleh', I'm going to be practical and use my common sense and go, 'Nope! Don't do that. What are you thinking?' (I might add a Woosterish 'Well! Of all the bally NERVE!' for fun.) Us older kids are just... not being critical to anyone here, but often the older ones of the family just... kind of DO less silly things. And therefore they must point things out to prevent millions of stupid things to happen.

Elinor, just pointing something out. That's not being bossy.

So there's a difference between that kind of 'pointing-out-hey-there-just-stop-that-silly-thing-will-you-'bossy'', and the real-bossy-kind-of-bossy.

And what I HATE is that those two kinds - the 'just pointing out', what people sometimes unrightly call 'bossy', and the mean, 'GO AWAY'-evil-stepsister real kind of bossy - are always mixed up. Because of stereotypes. Like, people automatically think, 'Oh look, that's one of those mean bossy sisters again' immediately, without assuming the fact that there is a 'not-bossy-kind-of-bossy.' Am I talking nonsense, or do you kind of get it?

To show you the difference, here are some examples.

Let's start with Eliza Jane, shall we? Have you all read 'Farmer Boy'? That Little House book about Almanzo's childhood with all the food and horses? Yes, that one. Well, if you've read it, you'll surely remember the extremely annoying and bossy older sister, don't you? Eliza Jane. She doesn't let Almanzo do anything, let alone touch a crumb before dinner is announced. She, I admit it, is a rare mean sister. She is also the kind of stereotypical bossy sister. Just MEAN.

Now, you'll have to agree, this (Eliza Jane-bossy) is not the same kind of (let's-call-it)-bossy that, say Elinor Dashwood has. 

The first word that comes in my head to describe Elinor Dashwood is not 'bossy'. SO not. Elinor Dashwood is sensible and therefore has the need to point things out to her slightly-less-practical sisters and mother. Things like telling Marianne to please say more than just 'yes' and 'no' and stuff like that. That's not bossy, right?

And Mary Ingalls. I used to be the biggest Little House fan, ever, so I have my 'defending Mary Ingalls' paragraph all over-thought and ready for you. Mary Ingalls was written in the eyes of her very-different younger sister. If my younger brother or whatevs would write a book about his life I'm afraid there would be a rather big possibility of me being portrayed in a cringe-worthily stereotypical-bossy-sister (hopefully not as bad as Eliza Jane, though. Really, I do my best to be reasonable). Laura also often writes about how she admires Mary, so I'm sure Mary was a lovely girl. She and Laura had tons of good childhood memories together. Mary just felt the huge need to SAY those doggoned obvious things to Laura now and then, that's all. She was just being a good older sister.

So, please, everyone who has older sister, please do not go around and call them bossy (unless they are REALLY as mean as Drisella or Anastasia or Eliza Jane. But please, those are uber-rare.) I hate nothing more than being called bossy when I'm just pointing things out that need to be done or that SO need not to be done. It's a hard thing, being an older sister.

(Of course, I'm not critising any of the 'younger sisters' out there. Wouldn't dream of it, I wouldn't! I'm sorry if I offended you when I said that about the older sisters feeling the need to point out stupid things. I don't mean to say that you're stupid, not at all. Just, sometimes younger siblings can do disastrously WHAT THE PORRIDGE things. For instance, deciding to throw out all contents of the marble bag. Of COURSE I feel the need to tell them to tidy it up. That's not bossy.)

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SOME OLDER SISTERS IN LITERATURE THAT AREN'T STEREOTYPICAL 

I often find myself sympathising enormously with the older sisters in movies and books, especially when they aren't portrayed in stereotypical ways (actually, ONLY when they aren't portrayed in stereotypical ways, heehee.)

I absolutely love Meg March. She does what older sister's do (y'know, point out things (that's not bossy, remember? ;-P)) and she has her faults, such as being carried away by the latest fashions and ball gowns, but she's sweet and has a darling original personality. She can be mistaken for a stereotype (in fact, that's why I didn't like her when I was younger - I thought, 'Oh, there you go. ANOTHER vain older sister'), but she really isn't.

I also love Elinor Dashwood, of course. She's a chump.

I love it when I come across a very quirky, very different older sister! I did so yesterday evening, when we watched 'Summer Magic.' Nancy Carey is a chirpy, chattery oldest girl, very good-natured, and a bit hot-tempered. She rather delighted me. :-)

Fanny Dorrit, in 'Little Dorrit', is by no means an older sister I heartily approve of, but she has a very un-stereotypical side to her too. She's hilarious and almost-sweet, under that silly stereotypical bossiness. She was a very kind of refreshing character, for an annoying older sister. I like Charles Dickens.

DO YOU GET ANNOYED BY OLDER SISTER STEREOTYPES?

OLDER SISTERS, HAVE YOU BEEN CALLED 'BOSSY'?

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