Ladies and Gentlemen, today I am here with a very controversial subject. (I will win it, by the way, the debate-to-come in the comments. Just warning ya.)
I have doubted and postponed the writing of this post, because I know I have some followers - who I wuv just as much as the others, of coursey-course (I am not an encourager of favouritism, you see) - who really are excruciatingly fond of this two-thousand-and-five Pride and Prejudice. So please, don't get upset by my little opinion of no real true consequence. I just want to do a rant. Because, I'm dreadfully sorry, I do. not. like. This version. At all.
Now. Allow me to put the record straight. I am NOT one of those people who believe you can only love one version. Nonsense. I can prove people-who-think-that-of-me wrong by pointing out the example of Sense and Sensibility. I love, love both 1995 and 2008 equally. There. See? It's just that that coincidentally is not the case with Pride and Prejudice. I've seriously TRIED to like the 05 version. I promise. I watched it TWICE, for Pete's sake. But I just DON'T GET IT.
But first, because I always encourage positivism (I'm afraid you won't see much in today's post), I will tell you what I DID like.
1. The music. Really. It's SCRUMPTIOUS. I have nothing whatsoever against the music.
2. Jane, if she wouldn't have had such a very MESSY hair-style 90% of the movie, was very good. I love Susannah Harker's Greek, kind, sweet look, but, after the messy-hair-complaint, I have no further complaint about Rosamund Pike's Jane. She was very sweet, very beautiful, so darling. I love both Janes dearly.
3. The scenery was very lovely in some scenes.
That's all I can think of for the time being. Let's go to the real part of the post, shall we? Are you sure you're ready? Okay. I suppose now is as good a time as any.

Let's start with Keira Knightley's Lizzy, shall we? Now, I'm not a Keira Knightley hater or anything, mark that. I just DON'T think she's Lizzy. She just... *splutters helplessly*... ISN'T. Thing is, when I see Keira Knightley, I see
something like this, not
something like this. I see a kind of fashion-model, a teenager of the 20th century with the side bangs and so-obviously-make-upped-face. She's beautiful, but she just doesn't LOOK Regency.
Also, SHE shouts instead of making discussions in an at-least-tolerably ladylike manner. Also she GOES OUT IN TOWN WITH HER HAIR DOWN. And in the fields in her night garb. Now, for those times, that was positively shocking. Sounds weird? Well, it was. It WAS positively shocking. Times have changed since Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice, dear readers. Society behaved differently.
And that's the PROBLEM with this P&P! It's so ridiculously... modern. This Elizabeth Bennet continually reminds me of those teenage girls walking along the shops. I can see her pixie cut under her always-messy wig throughout the movie, and I almost expect to see flip-flops when she lifts the hem of her dress. Most of the time she looks like she's just tumbled out of her bed - which, don't get me wrong, could look charming, but which was SO not HOW-IT-WAS-ISH for those times!
Pride and Prejudice 2005 is the least Period Drama-ish Period Drama ever. There I said it.
OH PLEASE. This looks like a Youtube Ad advertising Nivea cream or something like that. Or someone trying out special camera effects. This is just NOT Jane Austen.
Dear people, do these things come in to your mind when you think of Jane Austen? - Messy Hair? Night-gowns!!? Swings? Pigs? Elbows on the table? Whispering in Church? Shoulders slumping down? Georgian gowns? Well, if those things come to your mind, fine. :-) But personally I don't think of these things and That's also why this P&P bothers me.
It's like everyone is wearing their pyjamas the whole time. I DO beg your pardon, but I must tell you. Our family calls this P&P 'Pride and Pyjamas.' We do. My brothers came up with it, and I have to say I thought it exceedingly fitting and I call it by that myself.
Look. LISTEN TO THIS. Remember that scene where Mr Darcy comes and gives Lizzy the letter? Well, that's supposed to be the one where Mr Darcy gives it to Lizzy during a stroll in the woods, right? Nope, ma'am, NOT in this version. Here it's the most VULGAR thing ever - Mr Darcy just COMES IN the room (without knocking or 'exuse me's or the maid introducing him - he just opens the front door like that), in the late evening, while Lizzy is WEARING HER PYJAMAS (this, for that time, was really - oh, I wish you'd understand - really just not exceptable!) and hands her the letter. WHILE SHE'S WEARING HER PYJAMAS.

And remember that scene where Lady Catherine comes and gives Lizzy a good talk? Yeah, it's supposed to be the stroll in the garden, right? Nope, ma'am, it's in the middle of the night, while everyone is in their night-garb. Lady-Catherine! One of the MOST important, respected people! She goes to the Bennet's in the NIGHT, and faces a family with loose hair and night-gowns?!!! Oh, PLEASE. Like this is accurate. I really can't watch it.
Why is everything in the night? Why can't there be some scenes with TIDY rooms and NEAT hairstyles?
Look, research has been done and it has been factualized that the Bennet family would have been able to afford eleven servants. And listen to me, the Bennet sisters had no jobs like women have now, so it is only natural for them to have the time to do their hair beautifully everyday! Please! People complain sometimes that the Bennet sisters in 95' Pride and Prejudice look too 'perfect' and coiffed every day. But really, if you had eleven servants in the house and no job, wouldn't you have the time to do your hair every day and to look good and pretty every day? Especially if you went into town?
I am very upset.
SERIOUSLY.
It's the last scene that pains me the most. (The pain is real. Dare ye not laugh.)
So this is how it goes, right? Lizzy goes out (not in the daytime, of course, in disastrously messy hair, of course, and in her nightgown, of course, this is nothing new) into the fields (insert misty-ness and sunset-ness for romantic effects) and VIOLA, coincidence everyone, Mr Darcy appears magically, with his messy hair and his unbuttoned-things.
Myself, I can't take that. How did they know they were going to meet in the same place? Like, did they message each other on their phones? (Oh no, this is a Regency movie. Sorry. Forgot for a minute.) (*snort*)
Why did the movie makers make everything so... steamy? Mr Collins, he gets a dull unromantic room with a big roast of beef. Mr Darcy, he gets rain and sunsets. Not fair, right? In the book and in 95 P&P the proposals for both men are in similar places. No suddenly-they-dance-on-their-own-in-an-empty-ballroom. No almost-kisses after the first proposal, either. (Seriously?!! They ALMOST kissed after that angry conversation in the rain! Like, Lizzy EXPECTED one?!!)
And when they dance at the ball in Netherfield, they made it all steamy and slow and staring-in-each-others-eyes-y. That's not how Jane Austen wrote it. It was a curt and so not romantic. In this P&P even Lizzy (who's supposed to be rather monstrously disgusted by Mr Darcy, remember? She doesn't LIKE him, remember?) she GAZES bewitchingly in his eyes.
And talking about the world 'bewitched.' Where does THIS come from?!! This quote: 'You have bewitched me, body and soul?' This is just... I'm not even starting.
 |
| Oh look, Miss Bingley forgot to put on her dress. |
And there are millions of other things. I'm so sorry. I won't cover them all, because I can make a huge unhealthy rant out of every little scene. I'm horrific, I know, and I feel very bad on your (that is, if you like P&P'05) on your part. (Seriously, pulease don't get offended.)
But because I've started, I must finish. Here are a few more mini rants:
1. Mr Darcy. He doesn't look like a man who owns 10000 a year. Nope, ma'am. Why did they make him look all sloppy? He looks like a farmer boy, a bit dressed up, maybe, but that's all. I really can't stand it when men have bad haircuts. He looks scruffy and bored and 'AH-I-don't-care' and 'Poooor-me'-ish the whole time. He doesn't like the slightest bit proud, either. This should be called 'Humble and Pyjamas', not 'Pride and Prejudice.'
2. (Also, Mr Bingley's hair. Not even starting. Mr Bingley was just a weirdo. A puppet of some sort, almost. His 'laugh' HAUNTS me in the night.)
3. Also, they made this P&P look like it was set several years earlier. Some people wear Regency things, but most of the people wear Georgian garb. Even my older brother, who normally NEVER notices
anything fashion-wise (he's that kind of chap) commented that this P&P isn't Regency, it's Georgian. It's like they didn't know which one to choose, so they made it a mix. They allowed some girls to wear Regency things but gave Georgian garb to all the rest. Make Up Your Mind, please.
4. Mr Bennet looks like a pirate. Benjamin Whitrow's Mr Bennet is just SO superior.
5. Everyone has messy hairstyles practically
all the time. I know I've talked about it already, but I had to mention it again, because that's one of the things I dislike the most. I think they might have forgotten that combs existed in the Regency (Georgian) era. Poor them. One must think the best, after all.
6. Mrs Bennet wasn't funny. My opinion solely then.
7. Same goes for Lydia. I didn't think she was funny. Of course, the girls here LOOKED more like teenagers (also because they acted and looked more like teenagers do now, in 2015) but I didn't get the taste of the brilliant characters.
8. Charlotte Lucas was good, but it made me wince to see her and Elizabeth run and giggle like Lydia and Kitty in the ball room. I doubt very strongly that twenty-seven-year-olds would have done loud giggling and RUNNING in the ballroom. (Oh yes, that's also a reason why I don't like this Lizzy. She behaves like Lydia and Kitty half of the time. And her giggles are weird. (Must have been influenced by Mr Bingley, I suppose.))
9. My one last big point I'm going to cover is this - the movie's, what's the word for that? - setting? - was weird. Sometimes it went REALLY slow, filming the scenery and the grounds at Pemberly, and Elizabeth Bennet's eyes (seriously, we KNOW you have eyes, Elizabeth Bennet) and the swing in the muddy front yard very slowly, veeeerrry slowly. And then SUDDENLY we go back to the story - whoooosh, whoosh, zam, slap. People talk very fast, everything tumbles over each other.
Pride and Prejudice is a super complex story. You can't jolly well squash it into two hours or less. Or maybe you could, but not if you spend quarter of the time filming eyes and romantic effects. I think so strongly, at least.
10. Also, the fact that you can see Keira Knightley's pixie cut in MANY of the scenes drives me a bit crazy.
I'm sorry.
I just don't like this movie.
*runs off*
*edit* Go read this post here if you're a P&P05 lover. I have something to tell you.