8/26/2014

(#3) Dear Diary...


Dear Diary,
 
Today my mamma and I went to visit the Hales, a pecksy-wecksy family from down South. I must say, I'm rather appalled at the state of their home and living. I could sum up millions of things, but, to start with, they did not have a piano. Imagine, Diary - if you can imagine, for I doubt that you can - to have a life without a piano! I know I could not live without a piano. I am a very musical young lady, with outstanding talent - people say so, you know - and life without a piano seems to me horrendous, appalling and absolutely miserable. That, I suppose, proves that I'm extremely musical, does it not?
 
Anyhow, I was quite appalled to see they didn't own a piano. I told them so, but their faces remained listless and uninterested. Oh dear me! I was quite appalled.
 
Their parlour is about half the size of our hall! Imagine living in such a cramped way, day after day! Oh, that coincidentally rhymed! I am quite giddy. I'm always giddy when I accidently rhyme.
 
Margaret Hale, the daughter of the family is such a stick-in-the-mud! She hardly spoke a civil word and did not know anything about Paris and the latest fashions. She was insipid and dull, whilst I was cheerful and bubbly. She has it after her mother, who is pretty much the same, only even worse. My poor mother tried hard to converse with her, and I could feel her agony when Mrs Hale just kept silent. How do they manage to be so uncivilized! I am quite appalled!
 
And the biscuits they offered us, diary, the biscuits. From far off they looked rather pleasant, and I was gingerly looking forward to a little afternoon treat. But, diary, as the plateau with the biscuits neared my poor nose, I could smell that they were badly cooked and smelled as if they were rather out of date! I refused as politely as I could, gesturing lady-likely with my hands. I do not mean to be impertinent, but the biscuits looked positively horrible from nearby. I was quite appalled!
 
But of course, I am determined to remain civil and treat the Hales like neighbours, just as a civilized lady such as myself should do.
 
Yours truly,
Fanny Thornton
 
 
Is their any particular Period Drama/Literature person you'd like me (Naomi, not Fanny:) to write a 'dear diary' entry from?

8/19/2014

The funnest tag evah

A fun picture for the funnest tag evah

I came across this funnest tag evah on Ally's blog here, which was a very old blog post but seriously... the tag is just too ridiculously fun to ignore. You try it too, right?
 
The rules are:
List twelve characters from any fandom/literary source, and then answer the following questions.

Make SURE that you list the characters BEFORE reading the questions!!! This is very important, people- and, if you don't listen to that- the tag isn't the funnest anymore.

Just, another sweet, fun picture for you all :-) I like sweet pictures.
 
 
Here you have the twelve literary/Period Drama people I have chosen:

      1.      Lydia Bennet (Youngest Bennet sister in Pride and Prejudice (1995, note.))
2.      Bertram Wooster (Jeeves somewhat empty-headed master) (Jeeves and Wooster)
3.      Fanny Thornton (Mr Thornton's annoying sister (North and South))
4.      Violet Crawley / Lady Grantham (Granny in Downton Abbey)
5.      Mr Knightley (My favourite hero (Emma 2009))
6.      Anne Shirley (The red-headed chatterbox (Anne of Green Gables))
7.      Mr Collins (The slimy toad in Pride and Prejudice (1995, note))
8.      Cynthia Kirkpatrick (Molly Gibson's sophisticated step-sister (Wives and Daughters))
9.      Mrs Palmer (Empty-headed, giddy with chatter. (Sense and Sensibility 1995))
10.   Nellie Oleson (Laura Ingalls' rival schoolmate (Little House on the Prairie))
11.   Rhett Butler (Scarlett's O'Hara's teasing husband (Gone With the Wind))
12.   Daisy (The kitchen maid in Downton Abbey)
 
I know, this picture has nothing to do with this blog post. Sheesh.

 
Here we have the questions!

1.      Who would make a better college prof, 6 or 11? (Anne or Rhett Butler)
 
Haha, this is a rather easy answer, because Anne Shirley is a college prof. I don't mean to say that Rhett Butler would not make one, of course, but this, I feel, must go to dear Anne Shirley.

2.      Do you think that 2 would win the “Cutest Guy of 2009"? (Wooster)
 
Weeeell, Wooster is, in his own way, a rather cute, funny person. Mmmm. Perhaps he could just get in, yes. It depends whether he makes one of his silly faces or not. *In aunt Agatha's voice: Close your mouth, Bertey Wooster!"*

3.      12 sends 8 out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed? (Daisy and Cynthia)
 
Bwhaha! Daisy sends Cynthia out on a mission! Whatevah next, does one wonder? It would have been easier had it been the other way round, wouldn't it have been? But let me think... Daisy sends Cynthia out on a mission. Okay, yes, Daisy asks Cynthia to fetch the parsley Mrs Patmore has told her to get, and Cynthia, horrified, refuses. So no, the mission does not succeed at all. Heehee, I just loved this question. This really is the funnest tag evah.

4.      What is or would be 9's favourite book? (Mrs Palmer)
 
Haha! Here I am again, putting haha's at the beginning of my answers. Because, Mrs Palmer and books, guys? Imagine it. But would she have a favourite book, it would probably be the latest gossip newspaper column.

5.      Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around? (Wooster, Anne Shirley)
 
Hahahaha! Oops, I'm laughing again. It's just all so amusing, I cannot help but laugh, can I?! I can't see Anne swearing fealty to someone as unromantic and unimaginative as Wooster, and I can't see Wooster swearing fealty to any girl. But still, I think it would make a little more sense if it were from Wooster to Anne.

6.      For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with 9 or 10? (Mr Knightley, Mrs Palmer, Nellie Oleson.)
 
Sorry people, but I simply have to burst into laughter. Ha. Ha. Ha. Mr Knightley choosing to share a study room with either Mrs Palmer or Nellie Oleson?! Something is wrong here. Mr Knightley, I believe would not choose Mrs Palmer because of her tongue going clickety-clack. Nellie is annoying, but also stays quiet if she wants to. So, after racking my brain for some good five minutes, I think he would, after racking his brain for some good sixty minutes, choose Nellie Oleson.

7.      2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss? (Wooster,  Mr Collins and Daisy.)
 
Wooster, Mr Collins and Daisy!?! Nevah. Well, since all three of them are so different, they would go to a restaurant, as that is what one all can agree to. They would discuss Rosings Park- well, Mr Collins would. Wooster would try to change the conversation now and then, not succeeding very well, and Daisy would not say anything but, 'Oh, she must be very rich, then!' now and then, to be polite.

8.      3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens? (Fanny Thornton and Nellie Oleson)
 
Haha! Fanny Thornton and Nellie Oleson! They'd kill each other! Whoops. (I promise you that I did not read these questions before naming my characters.)

9.      If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would she/he get it back? (Lydia Bennet, Cynthia Kirkpatrick)
 
I can well imagine Lydia Bennet stealing Cynthia Kirkpatricks old love letters! Cynthia would do anything to get them back, probably begging Molly to help her. She'd probably try to steal it, or bribe with money.
 
10.  Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire. (Mr Collins and Daisy.)
 
Haha! How can I find something which both Mr Collins and Daisy most desire? Is this possible, readers? Help me! Maybe the attention of their patronesses. I believe Daisy would also like attention of her patroness, if she has one, or just attention. So, the title would be, 'Attention at last.'

11.  What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together? (Violet Crawley, Lydia Bennet)

Bwhaha! Violet Crawley and unsophisticated Lydia Bennet! Mmm. This really is a hard one. Well, Lydia would have to be bribed with something to work with the Countess. A trip to Brighton for Lydia and she just might work with the Dowager Countess. But then, the Dowager Countess would never want to work. I give it up.
 
12.  If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along? (Mr Collins)

*Shrieks* No! Oh no! I don't even want to imagine visiting Mr Collins! We would not get along, that's for sure. I would try to ignore him as much as I can, as we all want. *In Charlotte Lucas' voice: 'I encourage him to spend a lot of time in the garden. He walks every day... I encourage him to do that as well.'

13.  If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be? (Fanny Thornton)

Oh, how I wish I could command Fanny Thornton to perform me a service! That would just be sheer bliss. I would, of course, tell her to stop being such a stick-in-the-mud.

14.  Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11? (Rhett Butler)

I confess I don't quite get this. Am I supposed to say whether Rhett Butler could be my friend or not? Well, Rhett Butler sometimes irritates me, but, on the whole, I think we could be friends.

15.  If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be? (Wooster, Violet Crawley, Mr Knightley)

Wooster would go for Mr Knightley's side, indubitably. He wouldn't choose Violet Crawley/ Dowager Countess because 1) She's a women and Wooster prefers men 2) She looks like an aunt of his 3) he doesn't like this aunt of his 4) Not at all.
 
16.  What might 10 shout while charging into battle? (Nellie Oleson)

Haha! Nellie would shout for anything. She'd shout, 'Maaaaa! I want to go hooome! I want some caaandy!'

17.  If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose? (Cynthia Kirkpatrick)

Let me see. Cynthia sings a song with the words, 'Oh! To London I will go!' in the movie, so I suppose that's it.

18.  1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it? (Lydia Bennet, Anne Shirley, Daisy)

How interesting! Lydia, Anne and Daisy on an outing together! Well, Daisy would be shy and not take it, Anne would go for it, but, of course, Lydia, noisy and boisterous, would get it first- and grab it greedily.

19.  What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10? (Wooster on Nellie Oleson)

Haha! I'm so glad Wooster is number 2! He'd say, 'I say, Nellie! You are a poop. A poop, Nellie.'
I know it's vulgar, but he would say exactly that.

20.  What would 5 most likely be arrested for? (Mr Knightley)

No! Impossible! Mr Knightley would never get arrested. But if he did, it would be trespassing, perhaps. Not that I can see him doing that, but you know, IF something, it would probably be that. Oh, I'm not sure.

21.  What is 6's secret? (Anne Shirley)

Anne Shirley's secret? Hmmm. No idea, at present. Maybe something very wicked she and Diana once imagined. They vowed faithfully never to tell anyone. I could see Anne do that, couldn't you?

22.  If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first? (Rhett Butler and Mrs Palmer.)

Haha! Rhett Butler, OF COURSE. Mrs Palmer can't run unless it's something to do with her son. There. I am a poet, and you did not know it!

23.  If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8? (Mr Collins or Cynthia Kirkpatrick)

Okay, I know Mr Collins is a man, but I would never feel safe with him. Cynthia, however, is confident and I would feel rather safe under her guidance. Not that safe, you know, but still better than with Mr Collins.

24.  1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?

So. Lydia Bennet and Mrs Palmer reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by Violet Crawley's sinister secret organization. Rhett Butler volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for Violet Crawley. Meanwhile, Violet Crawley has kidnapped Daisy in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of Mr Knightley, they seek out  Fanny Thornton, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?

Haha! This is far by the best yet. The Dowager Countess kidnapping Daisy! Mr Knightley advising to ask Fanny Thornton to help!! Argh. I would call this fictional book: "Wonders of Wonders, Miracles of Miracles." Because, it is impossible.

Just... because it's a pretty picture.


Here are the questions again, for you:
(Do, do it, because it just is the funnest tag evah. And tell me if you do, so I can giggle again. :)

1.      Who would make a better college prof, 6 or 11?
2.      Do you think that 2 would win the “Cutest Guy of 2009"?
3.      12 sends 8 out on a mission. What is it? Does it succeed?
4.      What is or would be 9's favourite book?
5.      Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
6.      For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with 9 or 10?
7.      2, 7, and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
8.      3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
9.      If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?
10.  Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
11.  What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
12.  If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
13.  If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
14.  Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
15.  If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
16.  What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
17.  If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
18.  1, 6, and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
19.  What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
20.  What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
21.  What is 6's secret?
22.  If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
23.  If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
24.  1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that s/he is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?

Did you enjoy this post?
Will you complete the tag?

 

8/17/2014

(#2) Dear Diary...



Dear Diary,

I am in the depth of despair.

I cannot acknowledge to you why, because the burden, the shame and the disaster lays too heavy on my bosom. If I would write down the reason for this, the shame would lie even heavier, and I feel, at the moment that that would probably make an end to my life, because I can’t imagine any shame heavier than the mortification and indignity I am trying hard to endure as bravely as possible now. I could not even tell Diana, who is my very dearest friend and consolation in trouble. Diana could not console me now, chocolate caramels could not console me either and even puffed sleeves could not console me.

Oh, Diary- dear, unashamed, sweet diary! I don’t want to tell you, because I don’t want to read what I will write, because I know I couldn’t bear to see, on paper, reaffirmed, the thing I have just done to myself. But, diary, I have to tell you, and read it all over, as a punishment for myself which I most heartily deserve.

Thus, I have decided I should tell you, as a punishment: I have dyed my hair, and the colour in which I have dyed it is green.

There. It wasn’t half as bad as I had imagined. It was a real mortification though, when I had to tell Marilla, because, you see, she could answer back, and you don’t do that. Oh diary! I’ve got green hair! It’s all bronzy, greeny- and I look like a perfect scarecrow, as Josie Pye will assuredly tell me next week- oh dear! How shall I find the gumption to go to school in this unpardonable, wretched state! I am in a state of unconquerable consolation and I feel as though I have been flung to the very end of the ocean, where it is dark and eerie and where no-one but the little, teasing bubbles wish to near me. Oh, Diary! I have never imagined anything could be worse than red hair, but this is! Green hair is far more unromantic and ugly and horrible than I had ever imagined possible.

How I hate that gentleman who sold me the hair-colourer! I wonder if he knew it was green, and not shimmering black, like he told me. I had so much looked forward to black hair – I was imagining how charming it would be to have me and Diana with the same hair-colour. I decided I would dye my hair and then run to Barry’s farm to call Diana, who’d then run to me, who was all pretty and changed, looking dazzlingly beautiful on the bridge of the Lake of Shining Waters, and she’d cry, ‘Oh Cordelia! How beautiful you are!’

Green in such a miserable, miserable degradation. I’m sure you understand why I spent the next hours scrunched up in bed, crying like a baby. I tell you, I was so unhappy I couldn’t even imagine things.

I cannot be consoled. This day had been the worst day in my entire life up till now, and I have had lot's of bad days so that says a lot. I wish there was a more poetic way to say this, but currently I have more important things to worry about than that. What shall I do? What does one do when one is amidst woe and tribulations?

Yours cordially,

Anne Shirley,

(Or Cordelia FitzGerald)

8/13/2014

Dear diary...

 
I have always taken great delight in vexing people. In fact, together with reading the weekly news and finding calmness and solitude with a good book, it is one of my favourite pastimes in life.
 
Naturally some people are more pleasing and humorous to tease than others. I could not play my old pranks on my two eldest daughters, Jane and Lizzy. Jane is too dear and sweet to be seen upset and Lizzy is too clever to be tricked. She'll only make things worse and tease back, funny girl. I unashamedly and officially call Lizzy my favourite of the feminine Bennet bunch.
 
My dear wife and my three youngest daughters - the two youngest in particular - are indeed delightful to tease. They never realise that it is my sardonic humour and sarcastic wit playing up and take all I say for granted! All!
 
I have lately played a very witty joke on them. Aye, it was so good that even my little Lizzy got fooled this time.
 
I pretended to flatly refuse to visit the famous Mr Bingley (I do not know why the whole town is talking of him - what is there to say about the poor man, pray?) - while I, in real life, had long before sent him a letter with an invitation.
 
My wife - having both her nerve and smelling salts attacks - was pleading and begging, saying that our lives would be ruined if I didn't do it. I went on, not saying anything in particular, mumbling something which made poor Mrs Bennet even more hysteric than she had been, from behind my newspaper, which, of course, I wasn't really reading.
 
Lydia and Kitty, otherwise entitled as the two silliest girls of England, were doing the same as Mrs Bennet, only a little more cheerful, commenting coquettishly about the arrival of the officers now and then through their pleads.
 
Be it not as it may, Mrs Bennet suddenly cried out that she was sick of Mr Bingley. So was I, but I did not say so, and decided it would be the right time to put an end to my joke. I said I was sorry to hear that she was sick of Mr Bingley because I had written to him this morning. I said it was too late to escape the acquaintance now.
 
Mrs Bennet and the two silliest girls of England where hence even more astonished than I had delightfully anticipated when I had thought of the joke. My wife even kissed me - she was certainly overdoing it all. As I left the room to go to read in the library, I heard them hooting and howling in parlour.
 
Aye, aye, my joke has turned out my better than I had expected. What a triumph!
 
Yours truly,
Mr Bennet
 
(This was written by myself and can therefore not be copied without my permission.)