(Pictures: randomly found online, as usual.)
(Inspired by the everlastingly creative and energetic Paper Fury (aka Cait) who does hilarious posts on this.)
Blogging is cool; I love blogging. As many bloggers have admitted without shame before; there are times when I greatly enjoy looking at the stats; the number of pageviews (227057) (what the bonanzas I know), the followers (150. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY. Stoppit and thank you), and, best of all, the Search Keywords people submit before stumbling upon my blog. Unfortunately, I cannot see many (only the frequent/ recent ones - I wish I could see alll of them, because it's quite interesting. And if it's not interesting, it's amusing.) but there are some I can see in my 'stats' section and well, here are my responses to them. For fun. For waste of time. For amusement, and all that.
(And also because my sister says I have to post something funny so try to be witty I shall. I do things for my dear sisters, you see; it is my duty as a moral human being.) (Yes yes, I'll shut up. Thanks for asking.)
"A blogger is a person who"
Why would you search that, my dear. I mean, if you search something like that, you might as well, simply finish the bally sentence. Here, let me help you. A blogger is a person who owns a blog. Or writes blog posts. Or a blogger is a person who pretends to make their life look really fancy and cool online when in reality they're writing on their laptop in their dark corner of their bedroom. (Me. :-P)
Or maybe you want a post on what kind of person a blogger is. In that case, I get that you can't finish your search sentence. However, not trying to be critical here or anything like that, but maybe a better way to phrase (gosh, I spelt it fraze first - that is really really embarrassing, don't tell anyone I did that) your search keywords is, "What kind of person is a blogger?" Rather than 'A blogger is a person who'. Just a suggestion.
Also, it's a stupid question. No offence. Obviously bloggers are all people who decided, 'hey let's make a blog.' But that's where their similarities end. We have boring bloggers and interesting bloggers and fashion bloggers and photography bloggers and really wacky ones and really inspirational ones. Don't put us into one label, my dear. Rude.
Not quiiiite. That m between the r and the l? Shouldn't be there. Try better next time.
"z lark rise do candleford"
I bet you're the same one as the 'wondermland creek' one. You should stop googling stuff on your phone, my dear; or either you should simply get some spelling lessons. (I'm sure you can find some online.)
It's Lark Rise TO Candleford, not do. Lark risers don't do candleford. They go to it. (Have you seen the show? If you haven't, you're excused. But go watch it because it's really good.) As for the z in the beginning - I don't know what you did there. Maybe you're French; they tend to put random Z'ds here and then when they're speaking English.
|(ignore the cigarette :-P)|
"call the midwife hair"
Yes, there's hair in Call the Midwife. But you shouldn't call a midwife Hair; you should call them Midwives. Please. I want my blog to be a respectful place. Don't call people names.
(Emma, I just looked at you and laughed.)
Well... Yes, there's a narnia war on this blog; you're right. It's been a while since I got another comment on my very old blog post on my feelings on Narnia (I won't link to it because it's embarrassing :-P) (Basically I said I didn't like it and some people Disagreed) but I think you might be able to call it a narnia war if you're fond of hyperboles.
"what a glorious feeling i'm happy again"
I'm glad to hear that, my dear. It's always good to see someone spreading positivity in the Search Keywords section.
"maths and more intext: email site:be"
I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.
Maths? Did I hear a word that just sent a shiver down my spine? I do NOT want that word EVER to be associated with my blog, DO YOU HEAR?!! (I bet you're that creepy person that used to send me spam comments. I have no idea why you'd think I'd even want to know more about maths. And no, I don't care about your email site. Go away. Buzz off.)
"mary poppins white dress"
Yes, she does have a white dress. I like it too.
"maryanne dashwood wedding dress"
Major Jane Austen attacker right here. Maryanne; someone wrote MARYanne. I am shocked; grieved. My dear reader, do not ever spell Marianne Dashwood's name with a Y; that is simply unheard of. I'm afraid you will not be able to call yourself a true Janeite before you clear that terrible spelling mistake up. Really.
As for her wedding dress; yes she's got one. I believe I mentioned it ages ago (I don't like linking to old posts, but here it is, for you, because you asked so nicely.), however, I only give you permission to visit my blog if you promise to spell Marianne the right way in the future. (Now go; you are forgiven of your sins.)
"naomi 15 blogspot"
You're right, that's roughly what my URL consists of. Good job.
I'm afraid you aren't being concise enough. What do you mean by 'content', pray? Yes, it's a word with seven letters. Yes, I have content in my blog - otherwise it wouldn't be anything in the first place. And no, I hope I don't have any unsuitable content on here, if that's what you mean. Please, in the future, be clearer in your message. I'm a busy woman; I have no time to deal with unclear Search Keywords. (Note I say woman, as I am now 18 and no longer 17. :-P)
"wonderland creek naomi"
This was really fun. Now fare thee well, superfriends. Don't be stupid or make bad decisions. Stay awkward. Be messy and leave good messyges. (If you got all that; we watch the same Youtube channels which means you're a pretty awesome human being; so good job.)