Friday, 15 May 2015

How to live à la Marianne Dashwood // A Tutorial


Some people find her a whiny, self-absorbed person - some people love her and admit they resemble her a lot. Other people, although they love her as a Jane Austen character - beautiful and passionate - like to laugh at her a little. (No, that last one wasn't me. Just kidding, it was.)

I do feel, though, that Marianne Dashwood lacks love from us all. She feels deeply - she truly feels it, guys, this is all painstakingly real - and she has a huge heart and a brain that works with great dramaticism and gusto. We need to love her. You can even follow her example if you want, because it all ended well with her, didn't it, and she ended up being Jane Austen's beautifullest heroine, and all that. So yeah, I guess you could say that Marianne is kind of a rolemodel. I mean, I guess so, because she's so famous - and you aren't famous for no reason, right? Right? So If you want to be like Marianne Dashwood, here's a tutorial for you.


Step one. Walk in the rain.

Rain is your best friend. You love rain. And if you don't, you have to, if you want to live à la Marianne Dashwood. Basically rain brings out the best men and that way you can marry young and live a long life happily ever after. Life as a single girl is hard.

So, when you hear thunder, or smell rain looming ahead (you can totally smell rain), you go ahead and go for a walk. Your older sister or your younger sister might tell you it'll rain, and you tell them it won't, but it will. Besides, why would the rain stop you. You love rain - why else would rain exist but to walk underneath it?


Step two. Keep on taking walks.

Why walks, do you ask? Why walking in the rain? Why it is so beneficial? Well, as I said, the best men pop up on the surface when it rains. You always faint or twist ankles when you walk in the rain, so they are obliged to pick you up (as if you are nothing but a crumpled leaf!) and tadaa - a romance blossoms. I do warn you, it might take several tries before the right man comes along. So just keep on walking in the rain and getting carried by men until you realise it is the One.

Tips for going on walks, though, don't bring your younger sister along. The wrong men come when the younger sisters do.


Step three. Never hide your feelings.

As I said, Marianne feels super, super, no-this-is-not-exaggerated-this-is-so-real deep. She FEELS with every ounce in her body, she feels, yeah. And not only that, she shows this. So never hide your feelings. When you are upset: Well, CRY, for crying out loud! (haha.) Cry, even though you're in a ballroom - (or better, faint, so that some men (because they might be the right one and you're always on the lookout, remember?) might catch you. Cry, even though people are watching. Cry in front of your sister.

And olives don't help.


So yeah, keep crying. That's just so important. No secrets or hiding-feelings for you, thank you very much! That's just utter nonsense. Everyone just has to know all your troubles. It's a vital part of life. I mean, why else do you have tears but to use them when you are in despair? I know, sounds logical, right?

And the same counts for when you're happy. When you're happy, you show it, okay? You have to dance and laugh and scream. Even in public, yes, of course even in public. Scream.

When you're cross at someone, show that too. Why, you can say 'yes' and 'no', if you manage it, but don't bother about remaining civil. Tell your younger sister to follow your example, by the way - she can hide in tree huts and under tables. Just a suggestion. The annoying people have to realise their annoyance, right? Again, this all sounds so darned obvious.


Step four. Play music according to your mood.

Of course, you can't cry too much, because sooner or later you won't have tears left. When this happens, you should find a piano and play melancholy tunes. If someone asks you to change, please Marianne, change of course (you are a very kind person), but don't change the mood of your song. You are SAD. So play a SAD SONG.



Step five. Find your husband.

Your ideal man needs to be three things: 1) Someone who can carry you home in his arms and not care about getting wet. 2) Someone who reads poetry well and 3) Someone who likes music just as much as you.

Of course, there are quite a few men who can live up to all these three standards, so here are the more specific rules. If the man needs your help to remember the poetry, he is not the one. If the man falls in love with you before he sees you and when he only hears your voice, he is the one. If the man buys a pianoforte for you, he definitely is the one. If the man has rheumatism, he's the one.

Oh, and hothouse flowers mean: That's the one.

Have fun! ;-P

Oh, and post script, everyone.

This is my Two-Hundredth post.

I'm proud.

A picture of tea to end my 200th post.

14 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your 200th post!
    And yeah, I'm guilty of making fun of Marianne. *blush of shame*
    Love this post. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's so funny.. but I have always liked Marianne. I felt that she was one of the most real Jane Austen characters! :) My sister always flips whenever I admit to liking her though. ;) lol! Thanks for dedicating you 200th (GREAT JOB!) post to her. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow! 200 posts! I don't know how you manage to come up with so many ideas!

    This was a very good post for number 200. I enjoyed it. It's always interesting to hear someone else's commentary on a particular character.

    Oh, and your comment: "Well, CRY, for crying out loud!" truly made me smile. Excellent choice of words. :) So funny!

    You do a wonderful job with your blog, Naomi! Thank you for all the effort you put into it. I very much enjoy reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yay!!!! 200 posts *blasts confetti and dances around*
    Marianne, oh dear her and I share many traits.. Last week it was teaming with cold wet rain and windy and it was darkish at 2pm.. Geuss who walked around in the rain..?


    My music teacher had to "rescue" me, I was having fun.. not cold at all till we got inside.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lois, haha. I know, Marianne is just so EASY to kind of laugh at. Still though, I like the gal. :-)

    Julia, Oh, don't worry - I love Marianne too. She's a great character - and I have to admit I relate to her in quite a lot of ways. :-) But I do enjoy laughing a bit at her, that is all. :-)

    Miss March, Aww, you're so sweet! Thank you for your lovely comment and you're welcome for the post. :-)
    Heehee, I'm glad that 'crying out loud' thing made you smile. :-)

    Ainsley, thank you!

    Evie, Eck, that must have been quite something! I relate to Marianne quite a lot too, but I've never had to be rescued in the rain. :-P
    Thank you!

    ~ Naomi

    ReplyDelete
  6. Indeed it was! I suppose it was a resuce.. He didn't have to carry me though, just ushered me inside for we had music next. Then it became freezing so he made me run and grab my blazer and turned the heating on full throttle! xD

    Oh it feels so good to be back in the blogger world! I hope to have a good post up.. any dieas?

    ReplyDelete
  7. My friends were dancing in the rain with me.. xD

    ReplyDelete
  8. Marianne is one of my favorite Austen characters, simply because I think she and I are so much alike. I tend to feel Things rather deeply and vent about them to my friends (if I ever get annoying in that regard, please let me know!). I think Kate Winslet's portrayal of her was what really made me like Marianne in the first place, though. So lovely and dramatic and exactly how I pictured Marianne. (Well, I actually watched S&S '95 before reading the book...)

    Anyway, I loved this post! Muchly. And your new blog design is darling. <3

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha, this is a great post;)

    Rain, though…rain IS awesome. I love rain:D

    Playing music according to your mood XD Yes!

    I will admit, I'm not overly fond of Marianne, 'cause I do feel she's a wee bit too emotional, but that's hardly the poor girl's fault, is it? Well done:D

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ha. THIS is gonna be good. :-) And I do like Marianne, muchly. She's so INTO life in general, haha.
    Walk in the RAIN?? Don't you know you could get a COLD? ;-)
    "The wrong men come when the younger sisters do." HAHAHAHA. Ha. Funny, funny.
    Yeah, I didn't really like Charity Wakefield's Marianne. Kate Winslet totally IS Marianne. I DID like Hattie Morehan's Elinor - it was similar to Emma Thompson's and Hattie M. and Dan Stevens were just SO cute together. (Oh, by the way, did you hear that Dan Stevens was cast as the Beast in the new version of Beauty and the Beast?? I thought of you and my Downton Abbey blogger friends when I saw that. :-))
    "You are SAD. So play a SAD SONG." Hahahahaha.
    "If the man has rheumatism, he's the one." Heehee. That whole 'that's the one' list is hilarrrious.
    Ooh, your 200th post!!!! Congratulations, dear! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yay! 200 posts!
    Honestly, I really really like Marianne. I admit that I am dramatic like her. And I also LOVE rain, walking, and sad music. I know she can seem whiny and her tears may be all over the place. But she has a lot of character and I find her very interesting.
    Great post Naomi!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. This. This was fabulous! I think I follow the first two steps pretty well, but after that, I'm a little more introverted than Marrianne. Probably a good think. XD I love your hilariously sarcastic guides to finding true love and being like book characters. (-:

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happy 200th post!

    I love walking in the rain. If it's a warm rain, that is. A cold rain, not so much. But a warm rain invites me walk or run or dance around in it :-)

    ReplyDelete

Leaving me a comment is like walking by my house and dropping a little note in the post-box. I mean, it's really nice of you. So thanks.