In Which I Make Cinderella Ridiculous

... and I apologise in advance. (I also apologise in advance about the disastrous and cringe-worthy amount of times I use the word 'like' in this post. But sometimes one must pretend to be fashionable.)


So, there's this young girl called Ella. Has a mother, has a father. Never a moments sorrow. In fact, the first time she cries in her life is when her mother dies. (Which, it cannot be denied, is very sad.) Ella grows up, her father and best friend (the same person) grows up, too. Then one day the father's like, 'Hey Ella, I'm going to marry an evil stepmother bye.' And then he's like, 'Oh hey Ella, I'm going off and I'm going die bye.' So then Ella's stuck with three evil people who randomly decide to put the word of something which makes her dirty before her real name. Fortunately, it sounds quite elegant, the name. (It's Cinderella, for anyone who lives under a rock and has never heard of this story.)

Then one day Ella's like, 'Hey I'm going to go to ride on my white pony bye.' And she meets a man who is coincidentally three things: 1. Young 2. Handsome 3. Single. Oh, and hey, also a prince. They're like, 'We're madly in love guys' for days after exchanging like, three sentences and three eyeglances. Um, okay.

The prince is rather desperate to exchange the fourth sentence, so he's like, 'hey dad lets invite EVERYONE to my ball.' And the dad's like, 'Fine son.' Even though his idea means that terrorists and beggars and dogs and barmaids are welcome too. But okay, everything to exchange the fourth sentence; I get it. They need to meet again. But wait - will they? Because the stepmother's like, 'No Cinderella, madam will do and your dress won't.'

But it doesn't matter, that - in fact, it's a blessing in disguise because a white thing changes garden things into carriage things and suddenly Cinderella has a blue dress on. Like, wow, thanks, white thing. That was really much appreciated. So thus Cinderella walks into the ballroom and everyone's like, 'Okay let's look at that random girl so that the prince will notice her in this big crowd and so they can exchange the forth sentence.' Cinderella and the prince are like, 'Oh HEY! Let's dance' and they dance even though Cinderella has never had dance lessons and she has never practised dancing in a big dress. Then they walk in a garden and the prince is like, 'Hey let me put on your shoe.' Cinderella's like, 'Oh dear, it's midnight I gotta go, I gotta goooo!' And then her shoe falls off again and Kit's like, 'Wow couldn't she have put on shoes that fit?'

Anyways, back home the stepmother realises Cinderella had come to the ball, and she realises that the prince and her are on their way to matrimony. She's like, 'Mwuhaha, let me lock her up in the attic and break the glass slipper.' But the MICE are like, 'Let's save the day' and they open the window. Cinderella is like, 'I'm going to sing even though I'm locked in' and then Kit hears her et voila. They meet for the third time, exchange their tenth-or-something sentence and why, yes - why yes, they are ready to promise each other to have and to hold till death them to part.

11 comments:

  1. Okay, now I don't know what I am going to do with you for making fun of that movie! (ha ha);) I do really like that movie, although I do agree that the story line would hardly take place in real life. But then how much fun would the story be if it was realistic? ;)

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  2. This is Quite Hilarious, m'dear. You really do have a gift ;-)

    I'm surprised you didn't mention something about that green coat, though. (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

    All kidding aside, though, I did actually get a chance to FINALLY watch this movie and I LURVED IT. Like, seriously. It's absolutely fantastic. Cinderella is adorable but also strong, and Kit is adorable but also has a Brain, and the stepmother is evil but also ever-so-slightly more "understandable." (Notice I said ever-so-slightly. I still hate her. But . . . I understand her actions a teeny bit better now.)

    And the scenery is gorgeous, and the dresses are gorgeous, and everything is basically awesome. I'm proud of my pals at Disney this time. Really, I am. :-)

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  3. Hahaha! NAOMI! This was great! Just my kind of post! Making things ridiculous is way too much fun! ;)

    "The prince is rather desperate to exchange the fourth sentence..." Haha! The fourth sentence thing! FUNNY! I love how that kept popping up throughout the whole post! :D And the stepmother saying, "'No Cinderella, madam will do and your dress won't.'" Hahaha! Excellent bit of word play there!

    "And then her shoe falls off again and Kit's like, 'Wow couldn't she have put on shoes that fit?'" Yeah, anyway. Those shoes may be comfortable, but they sure don't stay on well. ;) I think the "white thing" should have taken that into consideration, too. Haha! "Like, wow, thanks white thing." (That part made me smile.) Like, wow, you're hilarious, Naomi! ;)

    This was a fun post! And by the way, I like all the likes, because you know, it's just like cool...and all that. (Now THAT was an awkward sentence. But, you're so right sometimes it's important to be fashionable! Heehee. ;))

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  4. HAHAHA!! This was deliciously hilarious! Those clever little sentences made my day.:) Loved this, dear!

    ~Rilla Blythe

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  5. I can't believe you are making fun of this lovely movie!!

    And yet...that fourth sentence thing. hahahahaha :D

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  6. VERY funny, my dear :) I loved the part with "And she meets a young man who is coincidentally: 1. Young, 2. Handsome, and 3. Single." HILARIOUS!!

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  7. Okay, so this WAS funny and yes, I DID smile...
    ...but I still love Cinderella as much as I ever did. :D It's a fairy tale - they're not REALISTIC! ;) (Don't worry, I know what you were 'doing' in this post, and that I'm being bored and picky. I'm not being serious. I rarely am. Especially when I'm tired, like now.) It's just, this movie is something I can't pick fault with. It's too beautiful to criticize, and it's to dreamy to poke fun at for being ridiculous.
    Still, I liked it, of course. ;)
    And Cinderella's hair!! *sigh* I couldn't do that if I tried for hours on end...
    ~Miss Meg

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  8. You made it ridiculous! You RUINED IT!

    I LOVE IT.

    Making fun of things is so much fun. ;-P

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  9. Absolutely HILARIOUS!! I love fairytales but often make fun of them recklessly.

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  10. HAHAHAHAHAHA. This is funny ;) Because I know you like this movie notwithstanding, so I appreciated it xD "But the MICE are like…" Hehehehe, yes.

    (Oh, but technically, she DID have dance lessons, I'd have to argue. With her father, you know. But still and yet, this is dreadfully clever, old thing ;D)

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  11. *coughs* then *smiles* Thank you!!

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