(This is a very silly slash embarrassing slash hopefully slightly humorous 'poem' I created the other day, on a whim. I took the decision to post it. Because apparently that's a good decision.)
The Imagination of Period Drama Lovers
(by Naomi Sarah)
There on the table, a plain white candle, unselfconsciously quivering,
At night, under the covers, winter evening shivering.
The former; I pretend I'm Mr Darcy, snuffing candles under the weather.
The latter; I'm Elinor or Marianne, snuggling for warmth together.
When dressed in anything remotely black, I'm that evil maid in Downton Abbey
But when wearing ten-thousand pound jewels, I aristocratically cry, 'Mmm, not to shabby.'
While wearing anything soft that sort of hides my neck, I exclaim, 'Sink me, odd fish m'sieur!'
(Whether or not you got that reference I am not entirely sure.)
I pretend I'm Sister Monica Joan when the kitchen suspiciously smells of cake,
And whenever I am running through public streets, I might as well cry, 'There's lace at stake!'
Wearing sleeves with a hint of puff automatically makes me the next Anne Shirley,
(Even though I talk very little and my hair's dark-brown and un-Anne-ish-ly curly.)
Remember that one time when I was Lady Cora, when Mama bought me breakfast on a tray?
And then I lost a glove - how ironic, just like Meg March after that game of croquet!
Oh, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, didn't see you there, sorry! I'm Mr Collins, all at your disposal.
Look, it's snowing, how gorgeous! Where's my Matthew Crawley and his ridiculously romantic proposal?
Posting letters, receiving them; handing over packages of white and brown,
Dusty air is rather pretty (and well, so am I) but of course that's no reason not to frown!
The former - why, I'm Dorcas Lane of course - what did you expect?
The latter is me as Mr Thornton (and if you've never heard of him you must be of an Amish sect.)
'What-ho!' is what I cry when my oddly-named friends come into town,
But all that annoying judge who's against our zoo needs, is an angry, 'Pipe down!'
Look out of the window, a visitor arriving! - It's Mr-what's-his-name, that rich, tall fellow.
(Oh and on a sidenote, just in case you wanted to know - Queen Victoria is who I am whenever I'm wearing yellow.)
To you this poem might seem odd (duh) - but didn't the guy in Testament of Youth write poems too?
I love my characters; I love these movies - and I really have to make that known to you.
Plus - pretending to be those different people really does put one in a good mood,
So yeah, all in all, my final word: I highly recommend the attitude.